2:51 am , Sunday
December 18, 2016.
You had said that you won’t let go of me. You had said you loved me. You had said uyou won’t let me cry. You had said you will be there to wipe off my tears. You had said you understand me completely. You had said you needed me much more than any other thing. You had said that you always loved me more than I could think of. You know what, I believed all your words. I never judged your love, I never questioned you. I always had a faith that you are a part of me. I believed that you won’t leave me on my own. I looked for you in the darkness. I believed in all those moments so much that I thought that not even you could take yourself from me. I only had you as a friend, as a lover, as a family; you were the only one I gave access to my heart, to my mind, to my worries and to my happiness. I shared my every moment and every detail with you. You are the only one who could make me cry like a child for a long time over a loss of her precious one! I did bear it all and I waited on you, because I had a hope that your heart may soften. You behaved like I am a burden to you now , you felt uncomfortable and you confessed of what you thought of me. Even after all the love I gave you, you hoped that I would leave for some other guy. You took my purity for flirt. No dear, that was not flirt. And I dont want you to pity me. I wish you could love me as much as I do. I will keep loving you, no matter if now I keep myself away from you. Because I think you would not get ill often , after when the burden of my thoughts is removed from you , and you might be able to refresh your mind and enjoy the way u want to. I am leaving you, just for your sake.
I had never expected it would happen this way. My heart cannot bear it but what good the love can bring when the other makes you feel that you are the reason of their uneasiness. My heart still cries and I see myself lonelier even more than I was before meeting you. I only know now that the door of "sharing" is shut down for me for forever, and the lock it bears is that of smile and silence.
It is very painful for me, but I promise I won't come running back to you, causing you any disturbances. I promise I won't blame you for anything. I promise I have no more complaints against you. All that I had, I told you, I begged you and I fought for "us". Now when I see that you don't see it as " us", but only as "I", I have decided not to become a hurdle to this "I".
I don't call you mean or selfish. I don't call you cold or heartless. I don't think any ill of you. I won't blame you for the weakness of my love. I won't charge you with insult for my unending love. For, I cannot force you to stand up for the relation you never dreamed of having. It is all my fault that I am suffering. I cannot put myself in-charge of your life's decisions. Those are the words I have for you. I won't speak ill of you in you your absence, because you are just as normal as anyone can be. It is your right to do whatever you want to, with your life. And I am not going to bring any bad name to you for having your rights.
Goodbye my love.
