Ever wonder what that means?
As a young girl of 13, I was in love with the idea of love. I had my own image of my prince charming, and what not. As time passed by, the image of that prince on the white horse became more and more closer to my heart. I often wondered “Am I being a fool?”. I was a dreamer and I was so far off from reality that I moved around with the invisible “Not Interested” board. Many felt I was arrogant, many gossiped I was scared of consequences of falling for someone. My heart knew that I had to wait, so I did.
A couple of years later, I saw him. Call it love at first sight or call it stupidity. I just knew “It was him”. As it turns out, we became closest of friends. Nothing changed much till the time he moved to a different city. After a while, daily chats became weekly and later monthly. Before I could realise that I was truly madly deeply in love with him, he was not even replying to my messages. What had I done wrong, I would often ask myself. I could not answer my questions. I would check my messenger atleast ten times a day in the later phases. One day when I could not take it anymore I confessed in my friend and cried myself to sleep that night. Next day was a new era, I had a will to take charge of my life again and not wait for anyone for I had suffered enough.
I can’t say I will not fall in love after this, but as they say “We fall in love a number of times in our lives, but never the same love twice”.
Years passed by. Yesterday I got a message on messenger from an acquaintance. The message read, “I like ya. I wanted to ask you out.” I can’t say I saw that coming. I had met him only 5 days back and twice that I met him after that, it was just a casual banter we had. I had no idea how to respond. Because of my bitter experience, I replied “I appreciate you honesty, but frankly I am no believer of dating and/or commitment. I hope our friendship will not change with this”. I expected him to understand but I got an honest angry response stating “Is it a religion that you don’t believe in it? And what’s with all this friend zone stuff”. Without adding fuel to his agony, I asked him if we could discuss it sometime after he had calmed down.
Last night I just could not sleep. This guy could not take it that I wanted to be just friends? Is friendship that bad? Believer of the principle that “I can let a lover go, but I won’t let my friend go”, I was baffled. I am no believer of love at first sight now. I believe that compatibility, sensitivity and care are much more important for a commitment of any sort. Had he waited, would it have changed anything? Would he have realised we are incompatible and avoided the mess altogether? Is it my fault that a person who was so close to me left me stranded without even a promise of friendship and made me wary of commitments? Who has these answers? I have partial answers today. These questions are open ended for you. Choose well.
