Freak on a Leash

Freak on a Leash
October 28, 2014




A lot of people talk about freedom, and everybody seems to have their own idea of what it is. Are you free? In their song Anarchy Burger, The Vandals scream, “America stands for freedom . . . But if you think you're free . . . Try walking into a deli . . . And urinating on the cheese”. It’s an extreme example, but does raise a question. How much freedom is even possible within a society? I think what most people crave is personal freedom, which is really nothing more than being free to be yourself. That seems like what should be a basic human right, but is it?

Do you remember your childhood? Can you truly recall that wonderful time in your life when you knew the all-important secret that none of us can seem to carry into our adult lives; that secret called happiness?

I think most of us can remember looking into the frustrated and angry faces of the adults around us and thinking, I swear I will never be like them. Have any of us kept that oath? There are occasions, like when we are engrossed in our favorite hobby or creating something beautiful, that we find happiness . . . If only for a few moments. Perhaps you have even met a truly happy adult, one of those rare and childlike individuals who seem to know something that the rest of us don’t.

Unfortunately, most of us live trapped in the world we’ve created. It’s not a happy place. Indeed we’ve created a society that thrives on all things negative. Fear, mistrust, deceit, jealousy . . . If we are honest with ourselves, we must admit that these are the predominant emotions of our world.

In his book ‘The Four Agreements’, Don Miguel Ruiz teaches us that from an early age we are taught that gossip and hatred are normal forms of communication. We are taught self-importance which leads us to believe that everything is about us, and so we take all things personally. We are taught to make assumptions rather than to ask questions, and then we whole-heartedly believe the things we assume, sometimes making up elaborate stories about those around us, without ever bothering to know if they are true. Then we go out and spread more gossip and hateful words, based on fiction we’ve created, because we are afraid to ask. The result is a fog within our minds that prevents us from seeing any truth. This is why our entire belief system is a lie.

But how did we get so far away from that loving and happy child of our past? How did we learn to participate in the building of a society based on lies and fear? Of course we were taught.

From the time we were very young and unable to resist their influence, the adults and community around us have trained us to be this way. They trained us the same way you train a pet. It is true that we learned many things, especially gossip and hateful words, by imitating the adults around us. But there is more to it than that. By using punishments and rewards, just like you do with a dog, we were programmed with their fears, beliefs, prejudices, and preconceptions about absolutely everything we saw or encountered as we grew. Virtually none of your beliefs or opinions belong to you. Every single one of them was forced onto you by adults when you were too young and too innocent to decide for yourself. This is the process of adult human domestication.

Finally, when you are a good dog and completely domesticated, society deems you worthy of the ultimate insult. They pronounce you “mature”. You may now hold your own leash. You will punish yourself when you judge yourself to be wrong, and reward yourself when you feel you have been good. Your standards, of course, are not your own. In fact, you didn’t create a single belief in your personal system. It was all there waiting for you to be born. You didn’t even choose your name, but you falsely believe that you chose a system of values.

I will pass along a very valuable bit of awareness from the teachings of the ancient Toltec people. You chose none of it. In fact, most of what you believe is not even true. Take a moment to consider the things you know to be true. Get a pen and paper so you can write them down. But before you begin, make sure that you personally know them to be true. Don’t include things that others told you just because you agree . . . Or think you agree. Agreeing with something you read or hear is not knowing. Include only those things which you can absolutely prove to be true.

There aren’t many, are there? Welcome to your true belief system. Everything else that you think you know was programmed by others. Usually, those people had their own motives for teaching you these things . . . For domesticating and controlling you. If you understand this and believe it, you have taken your first step toward awareness and freedom.

Now you may begin to choose your own system of belief. You can even choose to believe that you can be happy. This alone makes you a warrior in the fight for personal freedom. Not every warrior can win this battle, but all must have awareness. By becoming aware, and the world needs more “wares”, at the very least you will have the chance to fight your domestication. With diligence, and a strong will, you can break the leash.

How can you do this? Simply refusing to participate in the society of fear and hate that surrounds you is a great start. Personally, I have found Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, ‘The Four Agreements’, to be a simple and powerful weapon in my own fight. Most of the ideas I have shared in this article can be found in many religions and disciplines in one form or other. But in his book, Don Miguel gives you a virtual roadmap to freedom by teaching you very specific methods of breaking down the old beliefs and replacing them with new ideas that promote happiness and personal freedom. I call it my bible, and it has helped me to find a voice of integrity within myself. It has given me immunity to those who try to hurt and derail me with their own hateful words and gossip, and it has given me the courage to ask questions while others make assumptions. I truly believe that the things I’ve learned from this simple and humble book have transformed my life.

Deena James