In the compact room, every evening 2 hearts raced in search of love. I smiled and he smiled back. The duration of every smile increased from 1 second to a couple of minutes. Finally, after a weak I decided to go and talk to him. I waited hours for him outside the tuition but he didn't turn up. So while walking back home I bumped into a tall and dark guy “Hii Mansi. How come you’re not attending the class? “. His tremulous voice pinched every cell of the body. Within a second I realised, yes it is him. Without wasting a minute more I replied hastily “None of the friends showed up. By the way, how are you Abhay? ”. With a sweet smile he replied “I’m not good. Somebody stole my heart. Let’s go and sit in the park, I’ll give you details.”
The park was serene. The light of the lamp post flickering exactly the way my heart was pumping. We talked and talked and talked. He shared his past, I shared mine. He told about his likes and dislikes, I did that too. But somewhere in the corner of my mind I was dying to ask him who was that ‘someone’ who had stolen his heart. Time passed like flowing water and suddenly the phone rang to a Nicki Minaj song. Oops, that was my mom. It was time for a goodbye (goodbyes are sad and those with unanswered questions are more terrible). He promised to meet me again after tuition, tomorrow.
Every day after tuition we hanged out. It had become a routine. Months passed but I was unable to ask him that one question ‘Who stole your heart Abhay?’ The friendship became so strong that we started sharing every possible detail of each other’s life. Somewhere, I knew I had developed feelings for him but is the same thing with him... Is he just a friend to me? Does he like me? How will he react to this situation? At last, one day after the class I confessed my feelings to him. I was afraid but was happy to pour my heart to him. It took him a lot of time to think and finally come up with a simple reply “Why me Mansi?” Tears shed from my eyes but I had nothing to reply. An hour went by and none of us said a single word. It was 9 and I had to go back to my place. I was despondent, agitated and ashamed of my behaviour. Just then the phone flashed his name and it read “I like you too but I am afraid of myself that somewhere down the line I’ll break your heart into 24 odd pieces”. I was excited but I also had to make him understand that he is no harm to me.
Things got better or should I say, JUST PERFECT. We were happy as a couple. More than a Boyfriend, he was a friend and a mentor to me. He was passionate about me and I was irrevocably in love with him. He was someone I truly loved. 17 months passed and we were very much in love with each other. The day before my BMS CET, we decided to meet. We cuddled all night long and at the strike of 5 am in the morning he dropped me home. Sitting in the large air conditioned room of SRCC, I was just thinking of him. 3 hours came to an end. Walking from the classroom to the entrance gate to pick my phone and call him was a forever ending journey. I dialled his number to ask how his exam was. To my surprise, he disconnected the call. I tried again he didn't pick. I was tensed and angry both at the same time. I tried calling him several times that day but no reply. Like usual my phone beeped and I saw his name. It was a text message which left me nowhere. “Hii, I know you called to ask how my exam was. It was nice. I was thinking about you but then I realised, I have a girlfriend. Yes, I don’t love her anymore but I love you instead and I don’t want that coming. I am sorry for taking all your time in the past 19 months. I am sorry for not telling you about her. This is a final goodbye and please don’t try to meet me”
Pulled in one direction by my intense passion for him I was shattered, broken, crushed. Tears strained face and blood shot eyes, looking for some respite. To live or to die. But I had none to do.
