Emotions

What are emotions? I never thought emotion makes you doubt your existence.
Feeling to cry, Feeling to laugh, Feeling to talk, Feeling to talk to her, Feeling to talk to her friend's but none will make me happy because in any one of them i will not see you.
Did you ever think why did i never talk to you ? why i never came near you ?
For you it might be easy to forget someone but for me you were so important that i never will be able to forget you.
She was in the lab with me. She told she wanted to study. She was so humble and she requested me to come for the lunch but i refused because if she knew i loved her she would have never come in the lab again. I always miss talking to her and I know she will also( only in condition that if she loves me today also and I know i am happy that i am still opmistic that my love for her will not stop and the day it will stop, I will be unwilling to live anymore).
Whenever i see her smile or whenever she comes to have lunch , I would like to spent my complete time with her because she will always be me in my heart like my heartbeat.
I don't know what is love? why did this happen? Why ?
I had a passion to work hard and to do something in life before she came in life. Now my life looks pretty stagnant. I cannot forget her. I tried different ways to forget her. One was commiting suicide by drowning in the sea, playing tennis, Going to Cafe Coffee day , Riding Bike, Drinking alcohol, Going to Mall, Studying, Sleeping, Destroying guitar but none worked.
The next step is to relocate from the current city and to move to different city. Try to talk to new people and stop thinking about her, about her friends, about the memories i have and every other thing.When i watched Devdas and Dil de chuke sanam, I had a thought that nobody gets the love she or he likes but there will be a different person who will come in their life. The girl will always get the new guy but this guy is going to be always alone. As you get a new love and then you start to forget the previous one. Devdas , Shahrukh remains alone and in HDDCS, Salman remains alone. May be my story is also the same. I am taking her memories like lakshya but the day she will marry with someone I will have one lakshya, that would be to just to come that hell or heaven.
Playing with emotions is really bad. If you are suffering with the same problem of love, no one can help you. Its you who himself can help. I tried number of ways but failed.
I am talking because love really connects people. I wanted to be away from love because love gives pain. I have seen people who destroyed their life because of love. I watched number of movies which give very good example of the same. I am in the same trap now and its really difficult to get out of this trap.Emotions thats what i say.
And if you are born on 22nd february please try to be away from love because first of all you are very emotional and second if you get a lover who plays with your emotion then its very easy for the person born on this day to get easily hurt.My experience tells me alot.
thats also emotion

Today i met two kids who were of age 12 approximately . they had come to play tennis where i also went. I asked this kid what is your aim in life. Before that i also asked her where does your father works. She replied my father died and i was astonished to hear that. I kept quiet for some time and contemplated that if somebody looses his father how do they feel. She will not celebrate diwali this year because she tells that her dad died and for that reason, she would not like to celebrate anything. I told her girl your dad wants you to see happy and he wants you to celebrate any occasion. he is always with you in your good days or bad days. I was happy to hear she had an aim in life and that was she wants to become tennis play because thats her dads aim. I was inspired from her and I told her i have no aim in life. My mind fluctuates. Well this is called emotions. But that girl, I am sure she will not have much emotions who is suffering from the same day.