I don't know why am I feeling so uneasy.
Feels like a breakup :P
Don't fall for HIM.
Y him?
Because he said it
Or because he is genuine
Or because he is persistence
Or because you know he doesn't says it to any other girl
Choose criteria(s) and I too qualify it.
Except for the first one. I know, I never said it, and I regret it now.
I regret over thinking.
I regret believing that I may be using your weakness against you.
I regret never accumlating the courage
I regret not to stop calling you 'di'
I even regert that I know this fact now. It was all good till a day before.
I don't believe that you actually never knew what I felt for you. I don't think I had to use those words to let you know. As I have been saying human language has limitations, I have been trying to communicate in the language of soul.
I didn't want to mess it, right away.
I was afraid to lose what I had.
I'm sorry, to mess it up now.
It's suffocating.
Heart is speaking much more than what my mind can decode. Again its all vibrations. Please this time take them seriously.
Wait, did you fail to take me seriously because of my habit to appreciate her beauty. My 'trophy gal'. It must not be. You know me well.
I don't blame you nor myself. I believed we shall reach a point in life with the same bond that we used to share and then when we were ready for the leap, we shall talk.
I even had simulated such discussions in my dreams. I, enacting the reactions of our close friends and mutually known ppl, when they get to know that we were marrying, and I could see you laughing to the content of your heart and correcting me in some cases. They all were the best dreams, not sure whether the Dream Catcher played a role.
Yes my To-do list, it had a lot which had you.
I know nothing has changed, but the way my brain reacted yesterday has affirmed my believe that may be if not this time, but when ever you are about to get entangled with any other guy I would sit there smile like an idiot, tell you that you are special, and that you need to get into a relationship. While the heart within will pump all the blood into my brain as if forcing to speak up and letting my entire body to chill. But my brain, it has some programming, it will not allow me to speak. Despite the attempts, it will always be afraid to lose. Lose something which it treasures. On the grounds of which it finds itself stable.
I didn't speak all this yesterday, as I was afraid how will my brain use the excess blood pumped to it. It might stimulate my tear glands. Hands were numb. Thanks for cooperation.
Obsession. I felt you tried to keep me away from getting obsessed with you. But you failed. I told myself sometimes that it's wrong, but it was hard to substantiate. I failed.
I just hope things don't mess up now, after you read.
Not sure if I can share this with you now, but Someday, I shall. Let's not deliberate over this topic after you read it.
Let the bond that we share now(as you read it) remain intact.
