A smoggy haze of disturbance surrounds me, it clouds my eyes, my vision and limits the visibility of everything around me.
I struggle, i try to wipe my eyes, but all i am sucessfull in doing is turning them more red.
The world is crumbling around me and even though i can not see, it can be felt. The world is breaking apart or is it just my paranoia. All i know is somewhere deep down, even if i cant see it, even if i don't know where it is, i am scared.
I never admit to myself that i am scared.
I never admit to myself that i am lonely.
Is it because "to consider yourself weak is the greatest sin" or is it because i am just too proud to admit?
A smoggy haze of disturbance surrounds me, it clouds my eyes, my vision and limits the visibility of everything around me.
Burnt cigarettes i throw away. They are my only true friends. They are always there for and with me. Eroding my lungs a little at a time. I forgive them for their mischief, aren't friends supposed to be naughty?
I like people, i make friends easily , i make girlfriends easier. Even so, there has always hung this distance between me and people. I never really get them and they never really get me.
Its almost as if i no longer care. Im not sure whether i do. Friends come and go. Women are worse. They come, stick around, get close, really close and then suddenly i cant tolerate them anymore. Haha, whose fault is it?
The fault is mine? I like to think im capable of taking criticism , i like to think i am capable of growing past my mistakes. So here let me light one more cigarette to celebrate my wisdom.
Is it worth waiting for understanding? Is it worth not waiting for?
Water, Water Everywhere, But Not A Drop to Drink. But am i really thirsty?
No one is far, and no one is near.
A smoggy haze of disturbance surrounds me, it clouds my eyes, my vision and limits the visibility of everything around me.
