Commonality-The Downfall of America
Introduction:
John Common is a common young man. He was born in a common community in a common country to a very common family. Mr. Common went to a common school when he was young and he had a common sister named Jane.
After John graduated from a common high School in his common town, he went to a common college not very far from his mom and dad’s common home. For four years he went to this common college and finally graduated with a degree in Commonology and decided to find himself a common job and a common apartment for himself.
This is where our story begins, but first let’s talk about the common state of things when John Common found a job in Commonology.
As John got older, his little common community got larger and larger. It really wasn’t common any more. The common grocery store was twice as large and the prices were four times the common price. When he got fuel for his common car the common price was way more than common.
Speaking of his common car, his common car was too common and he wanted something that wasn’t common before he decided to get a common job and to start a common family. John Common bought an uncommon car with an uncommon payment and then drove his uncommon car around looking for a common job.
John’s common parents attempted to give him some common advice. They told him to find a common job like they had with a common wage in his specialty of Commonology.
Mr. John Common did not want a common job with a common wage. He had worked hard for four common years at a common college to get a degree in Comonology so why should he get a common job for a common wage?
But John could not find an uncommon job with an uncommon wage because he did not have uncommon experience. So what was John Common to do?
Chapter One-Out of Control
John Common was a very common young man with many uncommon goals for his life. He wanted to get an uncommon job with uncommon wages so he could pay for his uncommon car payment, buy uncommon things, and have an uncommon family, eventually.
His uncommon goals appeared very uncommon to all the common businesses in which he applied for an uncommon job. They kept telling him that they had common jobs with common wages, and if they had any uncommon jobs it would take uncommon experience that he didn’t have, but he didn’t give up.
One uncommon day in Common, John Common went to an uncommon business to apply for an uncommon job. They were very uncommon to him. The CEO at this uncommon company caught John’s uncommon vision of getting an uncommon job with uncommon wages. They hired John Common at a little more than common wage and told him he could work up to an uncommon wage in a few years.
Mr. Common wasn’t sure he could wait a few years, but maybe this uncommon job could pay him an uncommon wage earlier, if he worked in an uncommon fashion. He knew he could prove himself in an uncommon way to his uncommon employers in order to get an uncommon wage sooner than a few years.
So John took the uncommon job that had almost uncommon wages and worked uncommonly hard to get a full uncommon salary. Within a year, because of his uncommon persistence and hard work, Mr. Common got his uncommon raise. John looked at his uncommon check and wondered if this was really uncommon enough to pay his uncommon expenses.
John Common continued to wonder if this uncommon salary was really uncommon enough, because his common expenses seemed to be more than his uncommon salary every month.
Mr. Common had another uncommon idea. Maybe he should talk to his uncommon CEO and offer to do some extra work, so he could make more money to pay his common bills. John’s uncommon CEO was open to have him work more hours but the CEO told him that he would have to pay more common taxes if he worked more uncommon hours.
John was in an uncommon situation but could only solve it with a common solution. This did not make sense to a common man with uncommon goals.
Everyday Mr. Common would go to work and put in his uncommon hours for his supposedly uncommon wage. One day when he got his uncommon common paycheck, John Common decided he wanted to sell his uncommon car because he couldn’t afford it. When he went to get in his uncommon car to take it to a buyer to sell it, his car was gone. Someone had stolen his uncommon car right in front of him.
The next day John did not go to his uncommon job because his uncommon car was stolen. He had used all of his uncommon wages for his common expenses so he had no money to buy another uncommon car. He didn’t even have money to buy a common car. He reported the theft to the common police and they said they would do their best to find his uncommon car.
Because his uncommon boss had to replace him for a few days, John lost some of his uncommon wages because he had lost his uncommon car. Mr. Common had an uncommon friend who was able to give him a ride to his uncommon job for a few days until he could get enough uncommon wages to buy a common car to replace his uncommon car.
By this time prices on common cars were the same price as uncommon cars used to be, so John had to buy a very cheap sub-common car just so he could get to his uncommon job and receive his uncommon wages. (His uncommon wages were not uncommon anymore either.)
One day John sat on his common couch in his common apartment (with uncommon rent.) He was contemplating his common life. His uncommon goals, of having an uncommon job with uncommon wages, an uncommon car, and uncommon lifestyle, were fading from his consciousness. Was this life of his, just common and always going to be?
He still craved the uncommon. He wanted an uncommon family with uncommon kids and uncommonly beautiful wife. But he had no control over this common existence. John is almost ready to give up on his uncommon dreams.
The next day John went to his uncommon job in his sub-common car and decided to go out for an uncommon lunch at his noon break. He went to an uncommon café down the street where they served uncommon steaks and hamburgers. He still craved the uncommon.
John sat in a booth near the window and an uncommon waitress came to take his uncommon order. Mr. Common thought he had gone to an uncommon heaven when he saw her for the first time. Her name was Mary UnCommon. They hit it off from the start.
Mary and John were an item in the uncommon café for a few months. John went for an uncommon lunch every day if he could afford it or not. Eventually John asked Mary Uncommon to uncommonly marry him as soon as possible.
Mr. Common had another uncommon plan. He thought if they got married then this would double their uncommon wage, they could easily get an uncommon apartment, an uncommon car, and any other uncommon thing they needed.
His uncommon dreams again were smashed in his uncommon face. Mary had uncommon twins nine months later. Their common expenses became uncommon expenses and his uncommon wages weren’t enough because Mary could not work her uncommon job with uncommon twin babies. Again life’s uncommon circumstances have control of John and his uncommon dreams.
What’s a common guy, who is in love with a common girl with uncommon twin boys, to do with these uncommon dreams that keep coming back to haunt him? He decided to go see his uncommon boss, again. This time he would ask for double uncommon wages and promise to work harder than any other uncommon worker in the uncommon company.
John did just that. He got an appointment with the uncommon CEO and had prepared a great speech on why he needed double uncommon wages and how he would earn it. But john found out that the uncommon CEO was no longer the CEO of his uncommon company. “Now what?” he thought.
He had to talk to someone because he needed more salary but how could he talk to this new CEO? He went to work the next day and they had called a big meeting for the employees of his uncommon company just to meet this new CEO. John’s goal was to arrange to see the boss and convince the CEO that he needed more than an uncommon salary increase. The meeting went well. Everyone at the uncommon company got their uncommon hours shortened and their uncommon salaries cut by a common twenty percent.
Mary and John were in a real predicament but nothing an uncommon common credit card couldn’t handle.
John’s job went real well at the sub-common wage and sub-common hours until the government decided that the uncommon company was making too much uncommon pollution so it had to be shut down. Mr. Common again was on the streets looking for an uncommon job with uncommon wages.
With common baby sitters and a common preschool in place, Mary went back to work so the Common family could meet their uncommon expenses. John went on common unemployment.
His common unemployment didn’t last long so John got a job at a small common company in another common town a few miles away. He had to commute in his sub-common car so he had to buy Mary a sub-common car so she could get to work, as well.
John quickly climbed the ladder in this common company because he still had uncommon goals. It wasn’t long that he was promoted to a common supervisor with a common supervisor wage. This common increase was just enough to pay the common credit card bill they received every month. John was pleased, for now. He still craved for bigger and more uncommon things.
The Common family with uncommon goals wasn’t satisfied with all the common things they had achieved and received. As the uncommon twins grew older the family’s common expenses increased exponentially. Mary was working a second job doing common housekeeping for common neighbors. Her two common salaries still weren’t enough to pay the uncommon bills let alone their uncommon dreams. Though John still carried some of his uncommon aspirations in his mind, Mary had all but lost her uncommon dreams.
Chapter Two-Regulation Madness
All of John’s hard work over the decade had apparently paid off, when he was hired as he CEO of the common company where he worked for ten long years. There was celebration in the Common household, and the common family took the uncommon twins to uncommon Disneyland. Again the common credit card did the trick.
It wasn’t as easy running a common company as John thought at the beginning. His common life was filled with uncommon problems of uncommon government regulations and restrictions. He was sued by common employees who thought his common company was doing the wrong common things (or maybe uncommon things.)
His common board of directors called him in for a meeting to discuss these uncommon problems that he was facing. They decided to keep a close eye on him, and told him he’d better solve these uncommon problems with common solutions to save money. He agreed he would try.
Mary came home from her common job one day and announced to John that she wanted a new house for herself and the uncommon twins. Mrs. Common had picked it out and she knew with his uncommon CEO salary that he could afford to buy it for her. John suggested that they build an uncommon house and that she could design it. Mary liked that uncommon idea so she got an uncommon house plan and prepared it for the common contractors.
They built their uncommon house in a common neighborhood just to save some common cost. Right off the bat, John hated the common neighborhood because they forced then to have common grass in their front yard and he wanted uncommon trees. Not only did he have to take his uncommon trees out but he couldn’t park his uncommon motor home on the common street.
In order to protect his family in a common neighborhood, common John decided to purchase an uncommon gun. He had never even shot a common gun in his life. When he went to the common gun store he was informed that we would need an uncommon back ground check and that he would have to take uncommon gun safety training. Mr. Common was fit to be tied that he wouldn’t get his uncommon gun for two weeks.
While waiting for his uncommon back ground check to be completed, John’s brand new uncommon house was robbed by gun point and he wasn’t home. Common Mary, with her ten year olds, thought they were going to die. She wondered where the common gun was in which they had paid good uncommon money. John was fit to be tied, and wanted to kill someone. The common police again said they’d find the uncommon bad guys, but they never did.
With all this uncommon building and uncommon buying, the common lifestyle of the Common household was basically in an uncommon distress. John had uncommon headaches at his common job and plenty of uncommon expenses in his common family life. There was no time for his uncommon dreams and uncommon goals that he once followed after.
One day John and Mary decide that their common family’s common spiritual life needed to be revived. They started attending a common church in the better part of their common town. They attended every week and gained many common friends that they fellowshipped with from time to time. This became good for John’s common business.
The common business grew and the common board of directors was pleased with John’s work. The common board decided that maybe they would give John another common raise, but John decided that he needed an uncommon raise. The CEO had an uncommon impasse to cross to get what he wanted.
At the next common board meeting, John was in attendance. They informed him that he would receive a common raise beginning immediately and because of government regulations they had to postpone his uncommon raise until next year. John wasn’t pleased.
The current CEO of the uncommon company was in the middle of an uncommon whirlwind. He had just built an uncommon house with uncommon payments and then bought an uncommon motor home with double uncommon payments. Now he needs to decide whether to quit his common job at a common company with a common salary and look for on an uncommon company with an uncommon salary so he can meet all of his family’s uncommon needs.
But, can he find an uncommon company that will pay him uncommon wages? They were in the middle of an uncommon recession. Uncommon companies are cutting back and making it with common and sub-common employee salaries. He wondered how he could even keep up with his uncommon expenses.
Again John Common had an idea.
