Desperate

"I need a guy." Yamini told me, her eyes moist and lips stretched forcefully just to give a smile, but i could feel the pain inside her fake smile and deep down her eyes. She had never been in any relationship, never ever. Guyless, loveless and sex less. She had a family that cared for her. She was just 23 years old. You might feel that she was young, she had a family and that is enough for someone to be satisfied with. You might also think that she was being desperate, but I know her pain. I had seen it, felt it so closely. Whenever she used to sit with me and watch some romantic movie, I felt her desire to have such a love story. I could hear her breathe when the hero kissed the heroine. She used to get emotional with intense romantic songs and we made fum of her everytime her eyes glistened. Yes you might really think that she was desperate but stepping into her shoes I beg to disagree.

While almost everyone around her were either enjoying their second or third relationships or sobbing in their break up zones, she had never experienced anything called companionship and nothing like the adventures of any relationship.

She was not ugly, she was beautiful inner as well as outer. A human being as fine as everyone and as faulty as everyone else was. She had the same tantrums, made the same mistakes and laughed at the same things that others did. The only thing that made her different from others was thay she had that thing flowing in her veins, for her mother had given it to her when in the placenta she slept unborn dreaming a bright loved life. Her mother passed HIV to her. She didnt know all this before dreaming of having a love story, before imagining her dream boy who had dark hair, deep eyes, tall tight sculpture, an innocent face and a heart full of love. And when destiny broke to her, all her dreams started shattering. Slowly with time, she had settled with the desire of having any guy, that too with nothing but love, a bit of care for her.

The time that I had spent with her during my college days I started feeling things for her but never let those feelings engulf my heart or brain because I knew that it wasnt practical enough on my part to get into anything further with her. Then one day both of us were sittinh in my hall. I served hot rice and daal to both of us and I took her mobile. Surfing I got to see her history and there were some dating sites visited before.

"Yamini...What's this bachcha?" I asked her.

"I need a guy." She said.

I dont know what people might call it, desperation or anything, but I thought that she also deserved atleast a token of love in return of the big injustice life had done to her. I thought for two or three seconds staring into her eyes and then something in me pushed me towards her. I hugged her for like centuries pressing her close to me feeling hers and my heart pounding.

We parted and she asked, "Can I kiss you, please...just once. I swear I would do nothing else. I dont want anything."

I nodded a tear dropping down from my eye.
We kissed passionately. As we broke the kiss I could see her crying in anticipation.

She said, "Than..."
But before she could complete her word I took her into another kiss.

After this I got up and rushed out of my home to get some fresh air and cry to the heavens for they had sent to me a fairy who would fly away any moment.

I dont know what would happen next. My heart says to take her with me all the life while my brain yells at me as this would do nothing but break my heart only.