dad, i hate her even more than words can say
her smile makes me feel like disgusting her away
when you ask me,"why can't you love Ur mother?', frustrated,
"STEP-mother" with a heavy heart,to you I'd corrected,
"you'll be a good writer" mom had always said,
but watching this stepmother, my dreams have fade.
i won't be writing at the competition held this weekend,
all of my precious writings, to the dustbin I've lend.
dad, how could you think that she could replace my mother?
because i hate her, and would continue that forever.
i hate her cat eyes, and the morning breakfast that she gives,
i don't even eat the tiffin, it is the mom's memories where my hrt lives.
the winner of the weekend's writing competition will be announced today,
they say my name, i stood thr dumpstruck, while my frnds say "hurray"
i took the prize and went straight to home,
asking myself one que-"how i have won?"
i read the article tht i never wrote, agn and agn,
then i found a black diary with my stepmother's name.
i was certain that she hated me too,
so i flipped the diary pages, to have a clue.
but what i saw thr, shook earth beneath my feet,
it had the winning article of the week.
i felt guilty for hating her all along,
now i realise that she just wanted to be my mom,
now all i wanted to say her was"thankyou mother"
bcz dad, i couldn't hate her anylonger..
Comments (15 so far )
Because is not ''bcz''.There is not ''thr''.
The concept is good but it needs heavy grammatical improvement.
Also you have mis spelt on a lot of occasions. You need to get your spellings straight. Write in MsWord and see that you correct all the red linings.
Initialising the first letter of each sentence would make the composition look good.
Also it would be better to write in one tense.
You have mentioned you are a beginner and you have started well but there is a lot of scope for improvement.