Catharsis

His body lay sprawled on the floor in a dark corner of the room. Blood slowly oozed out of the cuts.
Next few days were a blurry of sounds and sights. He remembered only short episodes...

Constantly ringing bell.
Can’t they see I’m resting?
Siren of ambulance.
Why are they in such a hurry?
Mom is weeping.
But this isn’t your fault, Maa.
Same bed. Same empty apartment.
Sigh! Another failed jailbreak.

Someone mentions of a psychiatrist...

***

“Hello Manav. How are we doing today?” She smiled broadly. He felt a tinge of happiness and felt irritated at himself for that.
“Fabulous.” He couldn't hide his sarcasm. Give me a blade and I’ll be even better.
“What do you want to talk about?”, she said, ignoring it.
“Weather.”
She laughed out aloud. She had the laugh of a person with no burden. Her pretty face lit up. He smiled in spite of himself. He liked therapy.

***

“I feel I'm no good. My world looks bleak. My future, hopeless. I've been alone so long, I wonder if I would ever find someone”
“That is just a generalization you have made about yourself. A grossly false one. And I’m going to prove that. Let’s make a list. Tell me something you like about yourself”
“My wrist cutting skills.”
“See! That’s humor right there. A self-deprecating one. Not everyone can afford that.”
He smiled in return.

***

He was beginning to like these sessions. They were really working for his problems. Well, that was what he kept telling himself at least. Though, deep down inside, he knew that more than the therapy, it was the therapist. It was the first time someone has listened to him – without judging. And someone accepted him for whatever he was. He knew all those affirming compliments were just ego-boost-shots. But he liked to believe that there was more to it...

***

“Wow, somebody’s looking sharp today. I wonder why any girl would say no to you”. She winked.
It is now or never.
“Would you?”
She looked up from the pad, right into his eyes and then broke into a smile.
“You can just ask for candy, no need for all this flattering.”
“Suppose I’m serious?"
Now he got her attention. Her usually cheerful demeanor turned dour. He wasn't kidding.
“Look Manav, I don't know from where you got this crazy idea. I thought you know how this therapy works. My purpose was to make you feel good about yourself. But I see I have led you on.”
He wished to disappear.
“I understand", he could barely mumble out.
“No. We can't continue as doctor and patient. I’ll call your mother and recommend another doctor.”

As the door closed on his face, he just stood there, with his apology stuck in his throat. It was a couple of moments before that a smile appeared on his face slowly. I know just what to do.

His body lay sprawled on the floor in a dark corner of the room. Blood had stopped oozing out of the cuts. It formed dark cackles on the carpet.

There were no sirens this time.