This story is a sequel to my earlier post DESPERATE...the link is here for that post - http://www.writerbabu.com/post/desperate/14754/
Yamini had told me that she had HIV, 5 years back, while playing truth and dare. She had kept this secret for 3 years after she came to know this and her mother had told her not to let this secret let out, lest their family had to suffer due to the stigma associated with such diseases. I also didn't tellanyone about this and this secret made our bond even stronger for it got cemented with trust.
Today, I stand in the park, having kissed her twice with confusions engulfing my mind. Maybe it wasnt love, but just an action to dilute the pain that i felt for her the moment she let her feelings out through words. All through our 10 years of friendship, she had rarely cried over her situation in front of me. She had once cried in her mother's lap and I kept on pretending to her mother as if I knew nothing.
My cell phone rang...
It was Yamini. I tried to cut it but couldn't and picked it up, "Yeah!"
"I have locked your door and kept the keys below the doormat."
"Okay."
And without a word more I cut the phone. Then I realised that by this I had done even worse. She would feel that i was holding her guilty for this. I am such an idiot. But I also didnt have the courage to call her up again and tell her that i wasnt her fault. I sat there in the park for half an hour and then went back.
Next morning i realized thatmy parents had left for Jaipur and would be back after a week. So i had to take care of my house and myself for one week all by myself. I qiuckly showered and boiled eggs for brunch.
The bell rang and I opened the door to realize it was Yamini with hot poha in a tray for me. I let her in and she tried to pretend as if everything was alright. But i didnt want to make things appear good when they actually weren't. She tried to be funny and cracked jokes one by one, finding my t shirt funny, the eggs half boiled and other stupid stuff and I didnt even smile, rather kept on eating the poha nonchalantly.
"You not enjoying my jokes!" She asked.
"No." I said bluntly, "You can act that way but everything is not really fine. I think we should stop...I think we should end it all, we should break this friendship."
"I won't ask for anything Arun, never I would repeat the same thing I did yesterday." She kind of begged me not to end our friendship.
"You did nothing Yamini, you made me do with this same kind of pleading behaviour you made me kiss you...and you know what Yamini, i didnt kiss you because i loved you or something, but because i pitied you....i had liked you, i had been attracted towards you when you first came in this society, and made friends with you, but the day you told me you had this HIV thing, after that I had always been your friend just because I sympathise with you." I couldnt believe my words. I had pitied Yamin a long time ago but now i had actually been her friend.
She looked puzzled and wounded by what I said but instead of walking away, she said, " I....kind of ... had an idea ... that you pitied me and had been my friend just because you mercy me. I know you won't ever love me but still I want to carry on our friendship. I promise Arun, we would forget all this and we won't ever bring up this topic. Please, don't leave me."
Her deep breathe was audible to me, her eyes were again glistening and then she deliberately slipped a spoon to drop off the table. She bent to pick it up and meanwhile wiped her tears off.
I laughed.
"What happened?"
"Bachcha, you are such a fool yaar to think that you would do this and i wont be able to see it through this glass top table!" I said while she laughed at herself in the same voice as of a donkey. She looked cute and as always I wanted to pull her cheeks but I resisted.
I served her an egg and poha and we had our brunch together laughing at the same old things, the way we always did and I promised to both of us that we were going to live the same way as this, always.
