Being gay…well the name is very self explanatory to say the least. Being gay is neither a virtue like kindness nor it’s a bad thing like being a terrorist. It is only a fact, plain and simple fact. My name is Cal Pinkman and I am gay. By the way, don’t go by the name. Not all Pinkmans are gay beside not every gay like the color pink. It’s a completely different thing that I love Pink. Well, it’s actually a fashion thing. Any ways, I am talking tangentially, lets circle back…I am going to share about me and family.
I am 33 living in New York and I came out of the closet in my mid 20’s but I had to come out three times for my dad before he acknowledged it. I am not sure maybe he was hoping he heard it wrong, like I had said “Dad! I am grey.” Well, I always thought he knew about me being queer. When I was 14, he walked into my room and caught me doing one of the most embarrassing things that a boy never wish his father would caught him doing: dancing to the song of Madonna’s Like A Virgin….dressed as Madonna. When I was 24, my friend circle included names like: J’Micheal, Steven and Stefan(they were a couple), Pippin…I still can’t believe he did not figure out. How oblivious was he? In fact, when I first introduced him with my boy friend, Rocco, he thought Rocco was my secretary. Having said all these things, I still think that my father had been supportive. Though every time he gets a chance he makes fun of me or Rocco, like one time Rocco was wearing a Superman T-shirt, Dad said “You know the only similarity between you and Superman is that, you both landed illegally in this country.”( coz Rocco is Mexican)
My mother, on the other hand, always knew. Actually, I think she found out when I named our dog Mojodojo. Though, I don’t think it affected her as she divorced my father when I was 18 and went on some booze cruise with her hippy friends. Last time, when I talked to her she told me that she was in china or in Chinatown…I am not actually sure. But I could hear people speaking in Italian which made it more bizarre. I hope where ever she may be, she is happy.
With all the weirdness in my family, my sister was the only normal soul in the family. She was 3 years older than me. It was fun, growing up was fun. We talked about boys, watched rom-coms and made each others hairs. She made out with the high school basket ball champ, Louis and …..years later I made out with Louis too. But she never judged me. She was someone whom I could have called any time day or night and the relationship between us has not changed yet. Though, she is married and I am away from her but we still chat up.
Some of my family members were shocked to find out about me being gay while some new. But we never got the opportunity to tell my grandmother that I am gay. You know she is 89, and after they reach a certain age, you might think these news might send them over the age and boy she has been on the edge for a long time…..really long time. We are actually on death bed number 3.
And it is all about me and my family. You know, every family is eternally messy. Sometimes the best we can do is to remind each other that we are related for better or worse.
