We have a maid, whom i generally meet on weekends owing to office on weekdays and hence, hardly include in a chit chatter with her, stumbled me today! She asked, me, in a lighter tone- "So Madam, when are you preparing?" I asked-" Preparing for what?" She makes a sign in the form of a curve around her belly and I was like "really? What? You, the least of all who should be concerned about my future motherhood!" I dismissed the conversation with a meek smile, I just didn't feel good about her asking me about something so private about my life! And a thought struck me- we, the women, are we each other’s friends or foes? She went on to say-" its been two years you have been married, it does not look good if you don't do it now!" So , now other than my own mother, my mother in law, all my friends and extended family, this maid of mine is so equally concerned for me to make a move towards the next ideal step of my life! As if the first step of getting married wasn't enough to keep up with!
In a patriarchal society like ours, women are always subject to the idea of idealism, a life of being a good daughter, then a daughter in law, and then a mother, subject to the niceties of behavior, dress code and profession! It is only we who carry the 'maryada' of our families, all hell breaks loose if we wear something 'inappropriate' , get involved in an 'inappropriate' behaviour and pick up an 'inappropriate' profession that does not allow us to spoon feed our families! In present times, what wonders me is that women themselves behaving like these nasty rule makers and trying to inflict and enforce them on other women! Why the hell should I have a baby if you had one and because everyone is supposed to have one? Why the hell should I choose another profession just so that I could be half a housewife?
Men or women, when subjected to long periods of constraint life conditions, do get accustomed to that! What saddens me is these very men and women start expecting fellow men and women to become like them, one among the herd! I deny to become a sheep, I deny to be ‘one among the herd’! I like to play by my own rules, my life, my decisions, being fully aware that it might never turn out the way I want! If 90% of population abides by a set standards of perfection, does not make these standards ‘logically right and unquestionable’! It is just that they have been made to follow these who in turn made others to follow them!
Women, you need to stand up for yourselves, you need to make yourself heard and not tamed! You need to understand the difference between right and wrong, sensible and nonsense! You need to start questioning ‘why’ and not ‘how’? Women have equal potential as men, we are no less in capabilities, but we score certainly less in ambitions, the passion for excellence, the lust for achievement! We should not join the workforce merely to be an additional earning hand in family, we should work because we would like to work, we would like to be recognized as a good employee, a good boss, a good leader, a good human who contributed to society at large!
Not that I am saying women who are housewives, take care of family and would not like to have a career , are any less, but it certainly should be their choice, an informed decision! Nothing comes easy in life, not even motherhood! But the pain is worth taking if desired, not forced upon!
‘Legit’ does not always converts into ‘unquestionable’ and anything that is ‘questionable’, need not be objective with only one answer.
Very nice article.