When I woke up today the road was wet. The sky was clear. The undivided path has formed a green carpet of leaves. I thought the view is nice to soothe me from the loneliness which has been surrounding me from the last night. Clutched my diary and a pen in hand, I located a bench which places itself every morning with the same solitude. Solitude to which I was hoping for today. Placed in the midst of people and the surrounding I just wanted to be alone with myself. Bewildered with emotions and feelings from which I have been running. Today I want to sit and face them, tell them I am not afraid. I have gained courage to stand tall and proud today. They can’t haunt me every time when I rush back to those memory lanes. They just can’t.
As I sit holding my solitude and keep thinking and re thinking again, writing every word which crosses my mind, every experience I had back that time, helped me grow up in a better person today. But still why do I keep rushing back to those memories lanes again? My mind still thinks and every time my heart sinks in. Why does a simple song makes me run back again? Just to make sure that I don’t fall again, to make sure that I regain myself every now and then. I don’t want to give answers to anybody today, just to myself. To make me believe that it’s fine now. I always say experience is what I call it! And this is what I believe. You experience something , you fall, you learn, you grow and you gain yourself.
Past is something which we leave behind, Present is something in which we are living at and future which we look forward too. Sometimes simple little things we don’t understand while we claim ourselves to have a rational mind. So engrossed in the midst fighting with the complexities of life.
There is a sudden change in thoughts now. I am trying to figure out the complexities with a solution. Unconscious mind motivates the person, Freud said it way back but today I experience it every now and then.
The view is breath taking today. After long rainy days, finally the sun has shown up. The path is colliding with the yellow beam hovering and scattering under the beautiful sky. Taking a deep breath and biding adieu to a star eaten sky, rising with a hope it’s a beauteous morning. Brighter, brighter than sunshine. The morning light has shoved away the insight of the last night. And somehow the happiness surrounds me again.
I walk back to home, with a smile which was lost, with a ‘me’ which was lost, for a day only but somewhere the path had changed. It’s true the moment you find yourself, you are the happiest person living.
