I knew her so well, Say as much as she knew herself, or maybe, even better. I had seen her go through life- from dusty, hazy mornings to the silent starry nights. If you met her you’d feel she was crazy-smiling for no reason, crying at the slightest of things-not only with sorrow but also because she had laughed too much and it hurt! She was a brilliant listener or rather an agony aunt for most people, who would listen to them cry their hearts out till they were relieved and had nothing more to cry about. But, there was more to her, only if you would have looked beyond the twinkle in her eyes, you’d notice what she concealed in them.
I happened to look beyond and find what they hid- A timid little girl, who was insecure about life, scared about being happy because happiness she believed would be lost, unwilling to look herself in the mirror because she thought the world disliked the person she saw, low on confidence because everybody had long made her feel that she was highly uninteresting to be friends with. But most of all, she was unloved, ill treated, taken for granted by the man who, she thought loved him the most. That girl in her was battling-With a past that made her believe that believing was a mistake.
While the Damsel was in utter distress, he came along as a silver lining in the cloud. He, who? The same person she hadn’t talked to for years or rather the same person she had never talked to but was friends with-One of those friends who she never noticed or counted but could see around for years. What followed was the happiest friendship she had ever been through. He was her 2 am friend, somebody she could talk to about anything under the sun and still not be judged. He made her meet a newer she- A person who was a part of her since always, but stood unnoticed, hidden and unfound.
Amidst all this, happened what she believed should never have! He fell for the most imperfect girl she had ever known- and that was she, herself. She knew what she wanted- no pain, no heartbreak, no more of tears, no flashbacks from the past, no more ‘LOVE’! And she did it right away- rejected the relationship, rejected him. Unlike what she had expected- he understood! There was something about him! He understood her more than she understood herself! More than I do! Why? We both wonder- she and I! He stayed around like always- with even more love, even more care and the happiest of friendship.
Though everything was normal henceforth, something with her wasn’t. She would often question herself if what she did is what she wanted. But, the monitor in her told her she was right. She couldn’t risk losing her friendship with him if things didn’t work out between them tomorrow -because for her, things really did not work out well, most often.
Right now, she is sitting across the room, looking at the tiny drops of rain on the tinted glass next to her. Completely unaware that I am watching her, she wonders of how his love has settled all her inhibitions and insecurities about life, just like the rain settles the dust, How the drizzle makes her happy as much as the shiny bright sun, how the bright colors around do not strain the eyes anymore but are a delight to look at, how happiness has touched her life like never before, how she’s started believing more in herself and loving who she is, and HOW SHE HAS FINALLY BEEN DEFEATED.
His love has been able to triumphantly defeat all the fears that consumed her- all her experiences from the past and inhibitions about future (of what should never be). The mind-over-matter does not matter anymore and amidst all the silly conversations, the tears, the laughter, the pain, the anguish and the Happiest Friendship- she has fallen for him too.
She looks happier than ever- somber and content. Her eyes beam with hopes of a bigger, better and brighter tomorrow and the courage to battle with all odds of life. This time the twinkle doesn’t conceal another timid version of her. And just when she is writing this down, amidst the downpour outside, her phone beeps- reminding her of the reason behind all of it-her happiness and her love for herself.
All she does is:- looks at her phone, smiles and says to herself – “You indeed have walked in when everyone else walked out and left the most indelible footprints- Ones that seemed to have changed me (for the better) forever.”
