I smile, I sing, I roam around with my friends, I laugh, I make people laugh, I dance, I enjoy life..in a certain way.
But I don't feel my own smile, I feel empty from my insides, I don't sing when am alone(which i used to love doing), I don't feel like i enjoy the company i have, I fake the laugh, I make people laugh cause I feel I should return the favor, I dance cause when I dance nobody notices my eyes that turn moist or the frustration that's on my face. I say I enjoy my life, I say am going to achieve a lot of things in my life, to make my parents feel proud of me. I say AM HAPPY. Biggest lie of my life.
I try,desperately try to b ready for everything that comes in my way. I say am INDEPENDENT. But every now and then I seek for someone or the other for a shoulder to cry on. I feel,am not ready. Not ready to face everything on my own.
Am sweet to people,am fun to be with. But I don't understand why..why don't I have that single person,who i could call mine,completely mine. Who could just at least try to understand my silence. My anger.
I seriously believe in true love. I believe in the concept of soul-mate. But am tired waiting. Waiting for him to show up and then all my loneliness will vanish into the dark. Am i ready ? Ready to face the reality ? Ready to come out of my own imaginary world,which brings a smile on my face though just for a fraction of second ? Am i ready ? Will I be ever ready for everything ?
I don't know. But what the hell ! I have to live the life anyways. I guess I will have to figure something out ! What ?? I don't know yet. Let's see what awaits me.. !!
