Am I over him?

At night, I lie down on the bed
staring at the ceiling above my head
Endless memories of the past
don’t go away that fast
In the room so dark with a blanket on
I stare at the walls, sometimes at my phone
Him, a flawed miracle, too lovely to look at
Hard to hold, harder to let go
I gave him all my heart, soul, time and thoughts
In turn I only asked for his ragged heart
It’s unbearable how the mind keeps going back to the past
I wanted to leave him better than how I found him
Unfortunately, he was at his worst then
The darkness of the night is what I like the most
It keeps me guarded and secluded from the rest
I’m like the sea wave that keeps running back to the shore
To kiss the sand, again and again, asking for some more
He left like a bird leaving its home forever
To never come back, or leave back a single feather
In this dark lonely night i crave for togetherness
I’m a lover without love, yet I’m not loveless!
I wonder if I’m over him yet?
Then comes the answer, “not until my last breath!”