Am I Lost ?

Sometimes while walking in the deserts of my memories , I wonder why the mirage of witty and humorous flashes are required to appease the crawling sad moments of my life . I never opted a friend even the friend , literally . To my understanding I am a loner , a true nature's son . Lost and totally conceived in the complexities of life's gesture .
If you know me and want to converse about your unpatterned life , then a vivid explanation of life through me might make you my fan but ultimately we will be left to dream in our own anxieties , left to be thrown by the child with no aim ( by this particular line I mean , someday while investing our time in remembering our childhood when we used through pebbles in those cloudy rainy days , we will get joy in return ) .
How can I be so rude , not like obsession but more like emotion (I want to explain about life that I am not being rude by discriminating life but I am rude as what life has made me to) . Life has given me a lot , a lot not enough to count but enough to retain and live with them in my own apartment made of frustrations . whenever I ask myself what do I want , there is always a debilitating silence followed with an ineffable question "Am I lost?" .