I felt my body. I had nothing else to feel. My torn clothes were neatly arranged like the countries of the world in a political map. He could have just asked whether i wanted to test his masculinity. He chose to infer consent from the political map instead. There are laws against the institution of rape. There are no laws against the institution of consent. We live in an age of automatic consent.
Pain was still, feeling me, embracing me, agreeing with me. Why did i not cry?
**
Yesterdays tears kept me busy. History was never on my side. It was always inside. When he finally found the courage to remove his thoughts from my mind, the snake had declared us man and victim.
Why did he break the promise he made that day? I forgot. Without a mind, thought is like a dead snake. It can bite only when the victim is ignorant. He mixed the powder of love in the pool of eggs to blur my conscience.
From a preserver of eggs, i became a collector of love. He thought it his duty to love, but he forgot - his thoughts are nothing without my mind. The duty became a right, a wrong became a might.
**
As he was zipping his honour, my legs were probing the floor for the knife. I chose my legs to do the honours.
I hope he remembers - not the legs, but his own mind.
