Often I am immersed in thoughts, and remember a face, that still makes my heart beat fast. A face which became the cynosure of my eyes in the last few years. I could not wait to see it each and everyday in college, I seldom left an opportunity to bring a smile on it, I cried when the day of parting came, then it happened, I detested it, wanted to throw it out of my life, and I have been quite successful in doing so, having curbed my feelings, being a more mature person and moving on in my life minus one person whom I still have some where in my heart.
I have had no feelings for her as I still have feelings somewhere. Gradually, as I move along I came to understand, feelings of hatred are so easy to come by. If it is something that one cannot control, it’s the heart, how can I expect a reciprocation in feelings. The feeling of love was the greatest asset I could create for her and it should remain like that. I am no longer a part of her life, however I wish that whenever that rare moment comes in her life when I flash in her thoughts, that should be of a person who really loved her.
P.S. I feel a pang of guilt for my feelings for you, however I have always loved you.
A small gift for a person who is now far away from me :
ना जाने मैं क्यों अनजान था
ना जाने उस मुस्कराहट मैं क्या था, ना जाने उन अदाओं मैं क्या था
ना जाने उस बचपने मैं क्या था, ना जाने उस आवाज़ मैं क्या था
ना जाने वो कैसा एहसास था, कुछ ऐसा जिससे मैं अनजान था…
थी मुझे उम्मीद ,काश ऐसा होता,सच से दूर ,एक ख्वाब मैं होता
ना जाने क्यों उस एहसास को बदलने दिया
ऐ दिल जिससे प्यार किया, खफा भी उसी से हुआ
काश मैं उसकी ख़ूबसूरती बयान कर पाता
काश मैं उसके दिल को छू पाता
काश मैं कह पाता,ख्वाइशे हो पूरी तुम्हारी
ना जाने इस अधूरेपन की मंज़िल क्या है
ना जाने ये अनजानापन क्या है ......
