A nightmare with open eyes

29h June, 2013
I slept at 4 am having received a smiling smiley from my best friend... his messages have always been a reason for the glitter in my eyes..
thanks to the load shedding, that i woke up during my peaceful sleep... checked my cell phone with half closed eyes, it was 6am... and my eyes were opened the moment I saw TWO messages from my best pal. I was amazed that he sent me messages at this hour of the day... very early in the morning... the texts were received at 4:41 am...
I opened up the messages.. It was beginning with " I am sorry... " , I thought that it was some sort of a forwarded message... but as soon as I got to the bottom of the text, the smile on my face faded away... My heart started to panic... as if I were too late to read the messages.. I opened up the second message which was the continual of the first one... I read the messages twice... and three times the sentence "don't try to contact me, i will never respond you" and the line "it is my last text to you..." here is when i started to weep... I could not hold back my tears from pouring out of my eyes...
I opened up my facebook account to see whether he was still in my friend list.. NO! his name was not there... having thought he had blocked me!!! my friend list of 91-which was then 90 seemed a list of strangers to me!!! ... I deactivated my account... If he was not there, what was i doing there and for whom??
It was a farewell messages from the guy in whom i had a blind trust!! the guy who was the only source of my happiness... even a message from him containing a single smiley used to give me a lot more happiness... his messages were the only source that let me forget my worries!!!
I found my self vague and lost... with the amalgam of feeling.. hurt, sadness, love, anger and most of all_ LONELINESS and EMPTINESS...
the two texts i send him were some what a mixture of anger and complaints... they were just two sentences text messages...
I lye down... wept a lot... but then ... I got up... It was all very painful for me.. to accept the termination of the sweetest relation...
but i did what i supposed to have done, wrote him a lovely farewell message... I did not try to stop him.. rather let him be the way he could be happy, I just told him the truth that I had never expected him to be the reason of tears in my eyes... told him how unique our relation had been.. a true friendship... far better than bf/gf ... only we could understand the meaning and worth of our relationship...
I knew he won't reply, so I told him that if it was what to be happened at all then I must accept it with a smile rather than sadness.. though tears were making the words vague to me.... but I told him "though you have created space in my life, left me with the wonderful memoirs, but your catty is strong :)" I wanted much more to say but did not know how... I just wanted to give vent to my feelings and cry out so loud to let all my feeling away from me...
I don't know when i fell asleep while weeping on my pillow... but I woke up exactly at the same time when saw his text calling my name with the crying smiley...
Here, it was the moment as if life came into me... I was alive ... He was back!!!! I never tried to stop him! but my texts made him cry too....
He was leaving because he feared he will be demanding me to stay connected to him 24/7 which was against him... He felt attached to me..
But I made him realize that "Nothing is is to be feared, it is only to be understood" Life is how this is... "If you fall for someone, accept it. don't run, face it"... Life is so small... so live it fully :)
And here I am ... happy than ever :) :) I have my best friend back!!! :) It is a dreadful nightmare to loose the only reason of your smiles and laughter!
Never let your best buddies go:) Do not fear... it will hold you back to make the best of your life!