A LONELY PATH...

She was fiddling with her cell phone, trying to gather some strength. “You are beautiful, more than you can ever imagine.” Those words were whirling in her head, she was staring in to the mirror, trying to find someone she thought, she knew. But to her avail that person was missing somewhere and she knew the reason why. She held the dupatta over her face and made it slip down and again stared in the mirror, she smiled, remembering the time he had told her to do that. All those words came back to her, brought some tears along too. She had promised herself she won’t cry, she had cried enough already. It was disturbing her, all the thoughts, and his thoughts in particular, reluctantly she picked up a perfume bottle lying beside and with all strength she banged it on the mirror. The falling glass pieces resembled the falling tears on her pink cheeks, broken and bruised.

Somehow she got back to normal; she was doing it since the time she was home. Getting back to her normal state was the toughest task on this earth. It was not that easy, to forget everything and get on with a life she never imagined of, a path she was not destined to tread. But this was her destiny now. He was wrong, she thought. All those promises, all those assurances were already flowing away. “It is not his mistake after all”, she told to herself and that was true.

She was sitting by her window, the only place she thought were she could be herself. Gazing at the bright daylight she softly said, “If only that day he wouldn’t have seen me walking through the lane with my friends, adjusting my dupatta and letting him see me, things would have been different.” But it was destined; he seeing her, he falling in love with her. Life would have swayed a different path altogether. She would have never felt love, never felt being loved for the first and the very last time. It had had to happen, either ways she knew she was still in love with him.

Looking at the clear sky she started saying some things, things which she never want to keep a track of, “I don’t know what it was, colours took over my vision, I was finding it hard to breathe and in no time I had taken that inevitable step backwards which meant I was already falling for him. Don’t know what it was, his staring at me through the corner of his dark black eyes, or his saccharine smile which almost reminded me of my prince Charles that made my world churn upside down. He did some unbelievable things to me, I could feel sunshine even at midnight, could see stars even in broad day light, I knew it was absurd but love to me was always absurd as it never existed, he made me feel my existence and made me believe how people go mad in love, he was my discovery of thoughts and a whole new world of happiness.”

Tears kept rolling down, no matter how much she controlled. Destiny!!! Destiny!!! She cried in pain... How can it go wrong? Why was she at the receiving end? Where had they gone wrong? Was it after love all? The questions kept firing at unbelievable speed. All she knew that she loved him. Life was going haywire; the sunshine was no more sunshine even in broad day light. Life had gone wrong, but the love they had was indisputable and uncontrollable.

Her head went spinning up towards the clouds. How could she have not loved him? He was never afraid to hold her hand, never afraid of what people might say. She never knew him but she knew that he was never so stern or courageous, but knew this love made him strong. He never slept before she did; embracing the cell phone to her chest as if it meant the world to her. He was a regular visitor in her dreams, used to do weirdest stuff in there. He wanted to be the best, he indeed was the best. He told her she was the reason for his existence; he explained every aspect of being in love with her. He told her she was beautiful, she knew she was but no one before had told her in that way.

She wished this a bad dream that would get over once she wakes up, but she was already awake witnessing her dreadful fate. It was like she was trapped, nowhere to go and curse the situation she was in. There was one way though, she thought. She knew what she had to do. She also knew this would be the end, end of a life she aspired to live, a life she dreamt of.

She picked up her cell with all strength and wrote it without even thinking twice, “I m sorry. I can’t hide anything from you now, I am getting engaged tomorrow. Please take care. You’ll always be there in my prayers. Forgive me and forget me.”
She took a deep breath, wiped her tears and clicked the send option. It marked an end of a beautiful life and the beginning of a new dreadful and painful life. She knew what she was up against, a life full of misery and pain. But this was her destiny, his destiny, their destiny. She played her part; it was his to play now, in a soft but painful voice she said, “I hope he understands me.”