Absurd people have inhabited this planet. They think something, say something else. They say something and do something else. I don't understand what's the confusion about.
My best friend called me. Our conversation goes like-
"Yo! whatssap bro!?!"
"Nothing. I'm just feeling low."
"Temme man what happened?"
"Really its nothing."
"Hey, I am your best friend right? Temme."
"Dude, its a loooooong story. Leave it."
"Ohkay, I'm not gonna leave your ass unless you temme."
"Ohkay.(Smiling at her curiosity) So I went to watch Pk today and..."
"OMG! You watched Pk?!? You WATCHED Pk?!? WOW! Even I wanna watch Pk. Nobody is taking me to the theaters man. But I wanna watch Pk. I've heard its amazing. I read the reviews sister, they're damn good. Shiz man! So what is the sad part in there? You watched Pk, what more do ya want?"
"There's nothing sad in there. I loved the movie. But I got back home and..."
"NO! I don't want that. No What?!? No, no, no. I said- I don't wanna, NOT I wanna. (Pause) Oh c'mon! Pleeeeaaase don't make me eat this shiz. Oh god! Oh! Holy mother of shiz! GO AWAY!"
"You alright?"
"Just gimme a second.(A faint voice, I assumed she was holding the phone's receiver away from her ears) Shooo! Shoo! Don't dig into that. Oh no! GOD! (THUD! She dropped the phone's receiver) Oh hey! I am back."
"Was it snow?(her cat)"
"Yeah.(embarrassed) You know what she did?"
"Um, no. (Duh!)"
"She pulled out notebooks from mah school bag and started ripping them apart! I was horrified and then there was HER. She was forcefully trying to make me eat one of her new recipe. God! They were pathetic!(After a second) Oh hey! You were telling me about something, weren't ya? Oh ya, ya, ya. Pk it was. Its an amazing movie I must say. I've heard it in the reviews. I wanna watch it man, I really wanna. Along with nachos and..."
My friend, she doesn't have an internal stop button. One has to really shut her mouth. But that's when she's excited about something. Normally, she's a sober one.
"Ohkay, ohkay. Calm down, I know you wanna watch Pk, you'll watch it sometime I am sure. But aren't you forgetting something?" (I tried to give her a hint to come back to my problem)
"I don't think so.(After a second) Oh! OMG! I remember! Why were you sad, huh?"(a sudden transition from normal to excited to empathetic)
"I was copying the Economics notes from my mom's phone when she remembered that she had to make an urgent phone call and took away her phone. By the time she came back to give me her phone, I was fast asleep. And..."
She interrupted again. Uff! "Which reminds me, I gotta study Mathematics. I need to study well this time yaar, or else I'll fail. Sir already is so upset with me na, I just have to do well."
"Fine. Do one thing you go study Mathematics and I'll do History. Ohkay?"
"But you were saying something.."
"Oh forget it! You just go now ohkay?"
"Bye yaar. Will catch up with ya later ohkay?"
"Ya. Bye."
That's it. I'm done. What irks me is that people first prompt me to start saying or doing something, and when I say or do something they don't even bother! What the hell is this! If you didn't even care, then why did you prompt me to say that in the first place? This is not just about my best friend, this is about every damn person in the world! People, at least people who know me know what all irritates me, so therefore they should avoid doing that. But NO, they cannot sleep peacefully at night before irritating me even once in a day. There are two things that instantly provoke me- one, when people instigate me to speak and then continuously interrupt me; and two, when people watch or read my work before I even finish it. I don’t like it when people see and comment, ”It’s nice” even before I finish it. I mean, have a little patience people, let me at least complete what I have started.
To all those who know me and are reading this-
Don’t instigate me, ever , if you do not wish to hear what I am saying. Period.
