You are my crush, again..'s Diary

what mistakes i commit? what went wrong...i'll come back with those reasons....

One with my first crush when i was in 10th class...
I don’t know there is something strange is going on inside of me. My mind has been diverted. I don’t know what it is. I can’t able to concentrate on anything, just keep checking whatsapp and facebook statuses. My exam has edged on a month and I’m wasting my time by watching videos on YouTube. Is this kind of depression um suffering from? Today I took a fucking three hours to learn a question. What’s going on with me? Am I addicted with someone?
Yes there is someone I am addicted with. World’s and god’s most beautiful creation ever, Girl. I’m addicted with girl. That’s not mean that I’m running behind sex. Hell no!! I’m not that much jerk yaar.
Today is her birthday. Eighth of March a sweet little princess was born. I don’t know whether she got her specs by her birth or not but she looks perfect in her specs. Yes she looks tremendously gorgeous. If you see her you will fall in love with her. You won’t forget her cute face. Her beautiful face won’t go off from your eyes even though your eyes would be closed. She is damm cute. Her creamy whitish cheeks will melt your heart. Your eyes will not go off from her pink lips. Her dark hairs falling apart from both side of her shoulder has fragrance of sweetness. Her eyes look edgy though she doesn’t use eyeliner. Now imagine if such a beautiful girl smile at you what will happen to you? Either you’ll get hypnotized or get hospitalized. If you would survive by chance then you are not human, you are god.
I know she has gone far from me. Far, far enough. I couldn’t reach to her even if I would try. It’s better to move on. It’s better for me. Whatsapp has been filled with wishes and blessings for her. I’m uninstalling Whatsapp for few days. I want to live alone. I want to spend some time alone. I want to get detach from her. I want my composure back. I really need of it. Nobody will understand how I’m feeling right now. Nobody will. It needs really time to get over on such things. I can feel this depression. I can feel it right here, right now. I want to cry alone beneath the stars. I want to shout loudly. I want to scratch my face so hardly for making such a mistake. I know it wasn’t mistake; fate had its own plan. And after today I’ll let everything happen according to my fate now. My eyes are swelled up now. I think I should stop now. I should get over her. For me, for my family and for my future. I’ll miss her.