Upasana Sinha's Diary

We know tomorrow would come. Sometimes we even wish it to come.. But when that moment arrives fear sets in our mind. We pray it was not there. We close our eyes and think it might disappear when we open them. But it stays. It stays like a strong wall before us. It is very much like we thought it would be yet we find it so new. Sometimes the reality before us was so sure to come but still we don't believe it. We wish it never occurred in our lives. We try to forget it. We do forget it. But then one day, in midst of our busy lives... it slowly creeps in our lives and show us the forgotten days which we left for nobody. It searches its destination and reaches us against every odd. And we think its gone. And sometimes tomorrow is so obvious to come yet when we face it.. all our gathered strength becomes a waste. We are only left a tiny drop of dew on our skinny cheeks.

Yesterday is gone. It was dark. It was difficult. It was silent. It was pain to see every second slipping away. But it is gone. But fears still reside. Every second takes away with it some emotions leaving a void. These are filled with emotions of next moment. Time takes away what it has to. And give nothing in return. Just a vaccum for us to fill it with moments. These moments are gone and become memories. My memories. Memories of the happiest day of my life. Yesterday was a celebration of that moment. But it was choking to see how time changed the feeling for that moment. Smile changed to fear of the approaching moment and was released with a tear. Some dropped some slipped and some was half way and got soaked. It ended in a manner it wasnt supposed to but in a way I always knew it would. ANd finally it went. It's gone!

Yesterday was friendship's day. It was my 1st friendship day when I did not wish any of my friend with a happy heart. I remember those funny moments of life when we were in school and we used to prepare for this day weeks ago. Even in college a canteen treat was a must. I want those days to come back with no modification. This solitude had a reason I wish I could share. But I had promised I would never share. This day was always a celebration for me. But yesterday was just an ordinary weekend. I felt sorry for those who expected a call or message from me. So here silently I wish all my friends a very Happy Friendship's Day. God bless you all!

I am in confusion.. Long entangled knotty thoughts in my mind. I want to question the creator.. Why is it that people become weak and choose the simplest way out of a problem. Why didnt you made us strong to overcomes bondages. Why is a human heart so scared to face against their loved ones in moments of need for someone else. You created love.. and you thought it to be enough for the world and the people. Then you gave a heart to appreciate it. There are so many unanswered heart breaks that we see across still we love. We love with a hope that this time it will not be a broken story. But sometimes with break-ups, HOPE also BREAKS!

Blue is my fav colour.. it always bring to me the memories of my dear ones.. i wish to go in those pages of history and re live those moments, but ....
I wish i had this power to change thing around me.. make them according to my wish! there are lots of people we come across... some pass leaving nuthing.. some leave a strong imprint .. some are like a god's gift.. they makes us happy change our mood and go away leaving us with a smile..!! Those are whom i miss the most! they never come back.. i wish they did!! i wish i could tell them how much i miss them and I WISH one day they realise how much they mean to me!

Dilemma!!! Nice to hear but it is a very difficult feeling. That is what i am going through. When life brings changes so abruptly and you cannot cope with it.. you are in a confused state and and thus fall in dilemma. I have fallen in it like you have. i don't know what to do... this is what i am worst at.. "when time comes to figure out things from pool of a confusion". why did god create such things that gave rise to confusion as human emotions.. "HUMAN EMOTIONS".... most un-understandable emotion.. Have you ever tried to think what makes you sad when everything in life is going well and everyone around you is happy.. i know you have.. what is your answer??
Its not the feeling that makes us sad.. its the dilemma that makes us sad when you cannot find answers to your own problem caused by no one but you!!

My fabulous day.. today!!! I was in a wonderful place. It was a water park named Pink Pearl in Jaipur. I had never gone in a water park before. So basically this was my first time. I loved it. It was just like the wonderland I used to see on television when i was a kid. My small desire became reality... I was mesmerized with the motion of water washing my feet when I put my first step in water. It was damn cold but... reliving!!! And yes those splashes with the slides. I just can't believe I did when i was having a nice sleep at home. though i was tired to toe.. the thought of those splashes bring a pool of energy in me and every time I think of it, I jump on my bed with excitement. I thank all my friends who accompanied me in this craziness.. love you all!!!