The girl who was killed...'s Diary

Chapter fourteen
The dance
Yeah! He was warm, cozy. But what I liked most was that he knew how to respect people. Polite, humble yet manages to find a place in every one’s heart.
He held me lightly by his left hand and we danced swinging ourselves to the melody. I could sense his nervousness. I felt like laughing at his nervousness. I am not that fierce after all! 
Kahin na kahin to hogi woh,
Duniya jahan tu mere sath h,jahan main,jahan tu,
Aur jahan bas tere mere jasbat h….
“I love this song.”
“Me too.”
“Same pinch.”
“Come on Rimi, it’s good for friends to have same likes and dislikes.”
I think he sensed I was teasing. I didn’t know he was thinking so deep about our friendship. But it certainly felt good to be important in someone’s life being so far away from home.
“But likes repel each other.”
“Come on, I hate physics.so better stop it.”
“Same pinch again.”
I felt sleepy. I could feel his masculine hairy chest, warm and cozy. I peeped at my watch.10:30pm.time to return home. But it was as if the Delhi party started just now and is getting livelier as night is concealing these post teens with its veil deeper.
No one seemed interested or were in hurry to go back home, so giving up my thought of waiting for any friend to drop me home, I subsided to my most secured idea.
“Hey adi, can you please drop me back to my home? I am not feeling safe to go alone at this hour.”
“Sure and you don’t have to be so formal. I hate formal girls.”
Who the muck told you to love me either? I thought 
“Okay bye friends, meet you tomorrow. Rimi and I am going back home.”
I gave him last nasty look for calling me Rimi again, but it soon converted into inevitable smile. at last I allowed Adi to call me Rimi.


Chapter fifteen
Aditya speaks about the drive
“So enjoyed?”
“yeah.” she was wiping her lips after finishing the coke she brought from college.
I remembered that I had forgotten to bring my coke can which I had kept at the chair before going for the dance.
“So what did you like the most?”
“ummm…that dance fusion, the DJ and our dance and of course the chicken sticks. Simply yum.”
Thank God, she was non-veg. at least she won’t mind me devouring the chicken legs and wings before her eyes.
“So when are you going to Kolkata?”
“Don’t know still. Not now at least. the semester just started.”
“Oh! So next time when you go there, don’t forget to bring rasgullas.”
“Sure.”
She looked out of the window.sure she did miss her mother.there was an unequivocal emptiness in them.her lips shuddered a little.
“you alright?” I asked her.
“ya, I’m fine.”
I could sense that she was trying to hide her sorrow within herself.she faked a smile.she avoided any least eye contact with me lest I should again ask her about her most vulnerable part.
The rest of the way,she was quiet.she just played with her mobile phone,or may be messeged someone.may be her dad.as if a whole lot of silence surrounded us.just the car stereo played.

Little girl kisses her mom
Tells her I love you
Holds on to her hand
Little girl doesn’t have much
She walks with a smile she is so full of life
But she cries in the night just tryin to hold on no one can hear she is all alone this little girl closes her eyes
All that she wants is someone to love…..
One big , round tear rolled down her cheek by the side of her left eye.she tried to hide that from me but till then I had already seen it.her effort was futile.her eyes met mine.there was a strange shyness.she looked down.

We soon reached her place.the street light blinked at a distance.she opened the door and got out of the car.i thought she would go away without even saying bye,but she came to my side.
“chalo bye.kal milte hai and thanks for dropping me home.”
“its okay.bye.take care.”
I kept staring at her till she vanished behind the door.
All I could think during my way back home was the dance and her big round tear.






Chapter sixteen
I think Adi is a decent guy:
So atlast the day,I mean fresher’s night ended. My phone’s charge was almost nil,so just could sms dad,that I am back,before putting the phone to charge.
Back in the bed I could only think about the dance.the strong old spice musk scent came coming back to my mind. I couldn’t help laughing to myself at his rabbit like nervousness when we were dancing.
Yeah,though the car episode wasn’t that pleasant.i knew he knew I was crying.his eyes stopped for a second on my eyes. May be he was searching something.
Well, he was sensitive. Or maybe I imagined. The best part? His futile attempt to make me laugh by his stupid humor.well his humor which seemed so stupid in the car is making me giggle in the bed.but one thing I am sure about. He is a decent guy for sure. No time to think this. Already its 12’o’clock,now got to sleep.
Tring tring…..
“Come on wake up.its 7:30 already.get ready, I am coming to pick u up sharp at 8:30.”
He woke me up before my alarm which was at 7.45am.
“ JERK” I said to myself.
Oh jeez! This jerk won’t leave me alone even for a while.its not even 8hours we met and he is eager to meet me again in the next one hour.
I took a bath, usually I take out a kurta and jean,but today took a light blue salwar suit from my wardrobe,ate my usual breakfast consisting of a cup of strong coffee, bread and butter.
I dialed dad’s number.
“Hey dad, how’s you?”
“I am good, but you seem over joyous? Some secret cooking up or what?”
“nah,just had a good welcome at college.”
“Your voice tells me so. Well shanaya called me yesterday. Your phone was not reachable. Said something important.call her up as soon as you can.” Well I looked up at the clock.it was just 8am. I had enough time to talk to shanaya.
“okay,will call her right now.you took your medicine na?”
“Will have that just after I finish with you.accha you must be getting late.toh chalo beta,talk to you in evening. Take care.”
“Ok dad. I am not a kid now. I am 19.well aj apna B.P check karwalena.bye”
“haan amma ji.bye.”
By the time I got to hear shanaya’s voice after a long ring,it was already 8.15.
“haan re meri tufan mail,bata kal party kaisi thi?”
Oh! So that was shanaya’s important thing. And she went blah blah blah all about the party….
Soon enough I heard a honking. I looked out through the window. Yes, it was adi.
“OK,shanaya bye. I gotta go. Talk to you later.”
I took a look at myself in the mirror. “quite presentable” I said to myself. I looked at the wall clock. He was 3minutes early. It was 8.22am. at least he won’t have another chance to chide me for being late.
As soon as I went down locking the door, I saw adi getting getting down from his pulsar.
He wore a blue shirt and a black jeans and a blue sport shoe.his beard had grown slightly which made him look different than his last night clean shaven look. He must have not slept properly last night. There was slight redness in his eyes when closely noticed. Well was I noticing him that minutely?
“You look good in traditional dresses. Why don’t you wear them more often?”
I gave him a nasty look. How could I forgive the jerk to who disturbed my sweet morning sleep?
I didn’t say anything, just sat behind him on his pulsar and he started off.
May be he wanted to something more, but as soon as he looked at my face in his mirror, he kind of was discouraged to say anything. Well for me, I was enjoying this dominance and submission just praying I should not burst into laughter seeing the puppy face he made.
Well nothing of that sort happened and we were at college with the same expression. How I wish I could just click a pic of his meekly and sore face and upload it at my Facebook account and tag him with a tagline “MARD KO DARD NAHI HOTA”. Though I know, I didn’t make any sense really.
Soon we were again in Angina’s class and the headache, I mean heartache she gave the first year student………

Chapter seventeen
And he vanishes into thin air
And its eight months after the fresher’s welcome. Delhi seemed same exciting as it always was to me. I got used to hardinge’s life.yeah, infact the bond between me and Adi, which mainly consisted of fights,got more intense. He picks me up for college still. It’s now more like a duty to him than just a routine. And today again I am waiting for his stupid message.
“ Moti, uth.lene araha hun. Be ready.8.30.”
But today I don’t know why, he didn’t message. Its 9.30 and I am in college, but there’s nowhere this jerk to be found. I called him so many times but only answer I got was, ‘the user is not responding’. I asked shubu and neha if they knew where he was, but all everyone could say was ‘nahi’.
Shubu just added a thing extra “bandeke dimag me kuch dino se chemical locchha hogaya hai.”
I don’t know, whats the matter with Adi, but kuch dino se he really is acting weird.
Last day I called him in Angina’s class.he didn’t respond. The whole day he acted as if I didn’t exist. While coming to college too, he didn’t speak a word. I know, this jerk is up to something. Huh!
Yeh banda to ladkiyon se bhi jyada nakhre marta hai. This is the only conclusion I could reach within his two days.
And the whole day, I kept missing him. Well not him really, but his stupid jokes……. Okay, him too… 
Once back at home I messaged him.
“You muck, are you alive even? What the hell are you up to man? Hell with you. Die in a mess. If you have even a bit of brains, call me back ri8 now. M waiting….or else….you will see….”
Having sent him this super aggressive message, I was quite happy with myself. I knew he would call as soon as he read it. That ‘at each other's throats’ inherent attitude of his won’t let him rest in peace until he fights back with me.
I waited. I had messaged him at 4.30pm. Now it’s 4.35pm. Yeah, the minutes seemed hours now. So much time passed yet that muck isn’t responding. I waited again, till 4.37pm then sought to my most craving idea, called him up. No one picked up. I felt like banging his head, once I got him in my clutches!
4.40, he didn’t call. :’(
4.45 and there it was. The call!
“haan, you jerk. Bol”
“Were you expecting someone else beta?”
Oh shit! It was dad at the other end. I felt so introverted, I wish the earth would give way and I could hide somewhere underneath.
“Oops, sorry dad. I thought neha.” Yeah, I lied to dad, for that idiot!
“ you seem hyper, something happened?”
How could I say, that I am getting crazy with the thought that this damned rascal isn’t even responding to show that he is alive or not?
All I could manage was,”no everything ok, just a bit tired. Classes were too long today.”
After a bit of more chit-chat of papa-beti talk, I finally disconnected the line.
No, still there was no message from him. There was nothing good that day.
…………………………………………………………………..
Another new morning. I really wished he messaged me to be ready and he would come to pick me up.
But there was no message today also. I got ready and went to college all by myself. I just hope I could see him at college. But it says, all desires don’t turn into reality. He wasn’t there. For a moment I felt I would cry.but then I am not cry-a-baby and whom would I be crying for? The jerk? Ok, won’t call him jerk ever, ab toh ajao.
I felt like a fish out of water. My day was a total mess, crap.
I wanted to contact him, so opened my facebook account. Adi was was my friend. He wasn’t online since three days. I knew I wouldn’t get a reply, still messaged him,”hell wid ya. Cant u jst reply once? Die”
And fish! Mrs. Rao, caught a glimpse of what I was doing under the desk!
“ yes chatterjee, will you please tell us what were you doing?”
You can call her a sister of angina, just she was more lump, wore the typical south Indian styled sari and with a big mole on her chin and a darker lip. Rest you can tell, she is a copy of angina, apart from the ‘R’ problem.
All I said was, “sorry ma’am”.
I swear, I would have killed Adi, had he been any near!










Chapter eighteen
Aditya speaks
And its love
Come on, it’s getting over my nerve now. I haven’t talked to Rimi for three days now. How might she be? Should I ask someone? May be neha or anchal? But its 11.30pm now. Anchal must be asleep, but chances are there that neha must be awake. She studies till late night.
………………………………………………………………………….
Some days before we used to fight like hell, call each other jerk, pull each other’s leg and now I come to know, I am in love with her.
“hello neha?”

“haan aditya bolo.” After two rings finally I got neha on the line.” Why aren’t you coming to college since two days? Vedyantika was asking about you”.
“How is she?” I asked timidly as a school boy of 10 years old.
“she is good, just missing you. Why don’t you call her up instead?”
“I wish I could, but it’s like….ummm….I mean…” and all I could do was murmur to myself.
“hmmmmm, pata chala. Tu usko miss karrha h na? tu college aaja kal, samjha? Angina important notes degi kal.”
“okay, kal jaunga. Chal bye.”
As soon as neha disconnected the phone I dialed shubu’s number. Another of our common friend.
“Abe jagha h?” I asked him.
“ oh! Tu? Bata kya aafat agayi?”
“yar I am missing a girl.” I didn’t know what to say, so I subsided to telling the truth.
“iss waqt? Bhai tere dimag me chemical locha hogaya hai.” I hate the way he talks. Everything is fun for him.
“bhai meri jaan atki hui hai gale me. I want to talk to her.”
“ to ghuma uska number, mere sath time pass kyun kar raha hai?
“ abe bandi ko pata chal gaya aur hamari dosti tut gayi toh?”
“ abe saale kyon hai who bandi?”
I kept quiet. Soon enough I heard shubu’s voice again over the phone.
“ bhai Vedyantika nahi hai na?”
He got my nerves again.
“ actually, wohi….” He didn’t even let me complete my sentence.
“ I knew it. Pata tha mujhe. Saale you are in love with her.”
“naaaaaaeeeee” though I said those words with full force, but somewhere deep down I wanted to believe it, I mean after all Rimi wasn’t such a bad choice.
“ haan re. jaane tu me bhi aisa hi hota hai. First the boy and the girl say that they are only friends, and then they fall for each other”.
I somehow thanked shubu for his ‘precious’ filmy gyan, said goodbye and disconnected the phone. I had watched the movie myself, but I would have been happier if he referred to movies like death race, transformers rather than jaane tu… I am an action freak.
I opened my laptop. Opened my Facebook account, visited Rimi’s profile. I don’t know when I started looking at her pictures. Her profile pic was awesome where she wore a funky tank top and a hot pant. Pink suited her. She had wavy hair, all over her shoulder, kohl eyes, pink pout, and the tagline ‘the best revenge is to look beautiful.” Though she didn’t seem to take revenge at all, she did look beautiful. Pic credit was given to shanaya. I knew, she is her best friend.
I messaged her sorry and sent her a cute sticker as I had ignored her calls and her even in these three days.
I felt my eye lashes heavy. I closed my lappy and stretched on my bed. I wasn’t really sleepy. All I did was, close my eyes and think, think about Rimi. Her face kept coming to my mind. It was a strange feeling that never had happened to me before. I suddenly felt so protective about her. I wanted to stay close to her, forever. May be, shubu was right.
And I am in love. The last thing I want in the world is to lose her.






Chapter nineteen
OMG! He proposed me…..
“so that’s final, right guys?”
That’s the only thing I could hear adi discussing with shubu and raghav.
Though I wanted to freak out at him, I walked past him silently. I saw him look at me. I thought, he wouldn’t be coming today even as he didn’t message me about picking me upto college. That was strange, but now I am used to strange things. He has been acting so weird since some days. But atlast I was relieved that he showed up at college today. He had this unusual idiotic smile on his face. Couldn’t that jerk even inform me that he was coming to college or not? I really wanted to fight with him,but dropped the idea atlast.
“Hey vedy! You didn’t sleep or what? You’ve got swollen and red eye.” Anchal enquired.
“Adi called you up yesterday?” second question was flung by Neha.
“sans toh lene de. Yeah, anchal,I didn’t sleep well kal and adi didn’t call me up yesterday. Why?”
“nothing, just that he called me up. Puch raha that ere bare me.”
And the rest of the time we never had an eye contact even. Once when I looked up at him, he had his eyes on the blackboard and his fingers on his tab,under the table though.
I looked towards my right. Anchal was also fiddling with her phone. It was disgusting at that point of time. I really wanted angina to know what actually her students do in her class. Finding no other options,I decided to concentrate on angina’s boring lectures, but only end up noticing her expressionless face with criss cross of wrinkles all over. It’s hard to believe that she had a love marriage. I mean, who will love such a boring person?
And thank god I could withstand that 30minutes lecture, until it was Das sir’s class.
“hey vedy.canteen chalete hai. Inka notes neha se lelenge. Waise bhi angina ate my head up.”
I looked up at neha in amazement as she said these words. What?!? Angina ate her head up?!? It was me who was bored.
But I didn’t say anything as I seriously wanted a break from the unintended torture of angina. So I jumped at the opportunity.
Canteen – the best place in the college.

Chapter one
The best day ever…

“Dad” I came running across the dining hall.”Dad please come fast”.
I ran to my room,booted the computer,typed the website and with each heavy breathing I scrolled my eyes through each name.There it was.The fifth name was mine!The list of selected candidates for admission into Lady Hardinge College had my name enlisted! Till then I could feel another surge of heavy panting over my shoulder.I knew my dad was there,right behind me.There was no reason to look back.I could picture him.His eyes filled with tears.I feared to see this amazon of man cry like a child.It was the second time I was about to see my dad cry.The first incident flashed through my mind as clear as crystal.My mother’s corpse being laid on the floor.My dad bent over the dead body.Big round tears flowing down his helpless eyes.He looked up only when someone handed me to him and said”you still have to take care of her.Himmat rakho.everything will be normal with passing time”.
The first time too he cried on loosing the most beautiful lady of his life and this time too he is going to lose his beautiful princess…but not forever ofcourse.
“if you don’t want, I won’t go to delhi.I will stay back here with you and complete my studies”.
“ofcourse not.You’re going to delhi.Afterall that was your dream.To go to delhi and complete your studies.After all your mother too shared the same dream.So pack your bags and get ready for going to delhi atlast.And don’t you worry about me.You’ll soon come back after your studies”.




I’m gasping for oxygen.Gasping to live.gasping to stay with my dad.I can see doctors moving across.I can see my dad’s face through the tiny glass window,waiting eagerly to catch any of my slightest movements.But most prominently I can see my mother asking me to hold on.She wants me with her but can’t see me going through the pain.I want to be with my mum,but I can’t even think of leaving me dad.I want to live more than all the hundered times I wanted to die.I want to feel the life surging into my cells…







Chapter two
My first day in Delhi…

And my flight landed at delhi airport.It was my first experience at airplane.
The delhi morning air felt strong in my lungs.It has a refreshing tint in itself.Atlast I reached my dream destination.I was happy that I wouldn’t have to use my inhaler atleast in Delhi.
We hurriedly scanned through the streets of Delhi NCR to find a suitable paying guest type room for me.Being from a middle class background I couln’t imagine myself in the big guest houses of Greater kailash or dwarka or even vasant vihar.I was happy to find the small little squirky room of mine at NCR.Dad had to go back to Kolkata the same day so after a bit of daughter-dad goodbyes he left for the airport again.
The whole day passed by cleaning up my little new room,placing books in the selves and it was in the evening when dad called up I remembered that I had not eaten anything since the afternoon. I had read a lot about delhi in books so I got ready to finally rediscover Delhi through my own eyes.The streets were well lit even before it was that dark.One could find all kind of things in a delhi market.I went inside Mehek food corner and ordered a regular pizza.My phone beeped once.I could guess whose message it could be.Ya,it was from my friend Shanaya.Same old thing”you got there?how’s it there?any cool guys?”and lots more.While I typed the reply the waiter brought my pizza.It was yum.Atleast after a long day of starvation I could swear on that.
I went out of the shop.Saw a few more shop,enquired a bit about the place.After getting tired I went home and after calling up dad I went to sleep.Thus ended my first day at Delhi.Nothing so special,but with a lot more happiness and enthusiasm in me.But ya,by the evening I had started missing dad like hell.




I can feel the long thin needle piercing into my skin.the groove on the doctors’ foreheads grew deeper.the doctors pressing my chest more vigorously to get the least response.







Chapter three
Meeting new friends

“Oh,I am getting bored over here”. I told myself after getting up in the Monday morning of delhi.Its been a week since my first day in delhi and yet I have’nt made any friends.There was still another long week left before the new session of the college started.Apart from paying some useless visits to cannought place and café’ coffee day alone,looking through my thick books of cardiology and calling up teachers for coaching there was basically nothing for me to do since morning.Delhi stay din’t turn up that interesting as I had imagine it to be nevertheless I was happy.
Dad called up.It was now included in his daily routine.
“how’s you dad?”
“just missing you beta.I hope you din’t get any of those asthma attacks again?”
“nope,just a bit of sneezing or two.you better take care of yourself ya fir I will go back to kolkata”.
“na na.I’ll be fine.so made any new friends out there?”
“nope.still finding.okay bye.i think the milkman just came.catch you later and don’t forget to take your medicine on time.bye”.
“bye bete.talk to you soon”.
Before there was another knock I opened the door.as guessed the milkman was already there.
“bhaiya ji,kitna late karte ho and dekho dudh me kitana pani mila h”.
“aare memsaab,ghai zyada pani pine lagi h”.
“very funny.curse your cows when all your customers will leave you”.
After getting dressed up and having my usual cup of strong coffee I went out to buy some things.
There was a long queue at the grocer’s shop and having nothing else to do I waited.but while waiting I could strongly feel not only the bright delhi sun above my head,but the city came to life with its usual hustle bustle and day long commotion….






Some one is really pulling the thing whatever it is inside us that makes us feel, percicible to death out of my body.I now started feeling the acute pain slowly spreading lower then my pelvic region….
Chapter four
Meeting HIM…..
“trrrrrringggg”
“What the heck is this now???”well it wasn’t a heck,it was my reminder tone…’’subhae subhae kaun matam mana raha h?!?”
I picked up my phone and shit”it was shanaya’s birthday”.
I was pretty in time to wish her but miss phoolen devi was terribly angry at me for not wishing her at midnight.i still cant understand what pleasure people get out of waking someone up at midnight and wishing them birthday….more insane if they wish april fool’s day…!
Well I had to buy ‘something’for her so that when dad would come to meet me,I could send that something through him and I knew that ‘something’ would preferably be a watch.
The delhi morning was cool and refreshing.the sky was cloudy and a perfect day for celebrating a birthday.i started missing shanaya’s last birthday party!
I scammed through my wardrode… yeah the pink salwar was just perfect for this weather.after getting fresh I went for a cool watch hunt for my friend.
Big malls,big brands and big costs! Oh how I wish I could buy the pink strapped whita dial watch…went perfect with my dress,but I had to buy gift for shanaya first.
“oh my god!”I couldn’t help gazing at a black dial white strap watch…just perfect for shanaya’s fair,slim wrist and then I turned to find another silver metallic strap…super stylish.though I take decisions quickly,this was the time when I was in real dilemma. Both were masterpieces.
“I think you should take the silver watch.i am sure it will be a good gift.”said someone from behind.i could picture him by his baritone even before turning around.
Yes,just as I had thought. A 5.8’’ tall,fair physic of a manly boy.yes he still had the innocent look of a school going kid exotically blended with the sincere maturity and strength of a man.looked like a rich brat cladded in his white shirt and blue denim and a pair of black reebok shoes..his rayburn hid eyes seemed to be focused on me.long,sharp nose and slim lips did bring a fullness to his face.he looked like some one I know yet so strange.and the old spice aroma smelled so strong yet so assuring.yippee i immediately decided of gifting a deo of old spice to dad on his next birthday.
“thanks.yes,I was indeed confused’’ I was happy with the decision that I settled upon.
I went to the counter to get the watch packed.while I was going out of the mall,I just looked back for once…yes he was still there near the deo parlour.
Once in home I called dad to ask when he was coming to delhi and even I narrated the whole story of the day. I was proud over making a wise decision!



an intense sting of injections here and there but slowly with increase in the soreness I can feel my body turning into a lifeless limp of flesh……..





Chapter five
The lady hardinge college
At last the D-day had come.my first day at lady hardinge.
Tumlogon ki iss duniya me har kadam pe insan galat.main sahi samajh ke job hi karun tum kehete ho galat.main galat hoon toh kaun sahi?...sadda haq etthe rakh,sadda haq…
the sudden alarm in the mid of my so so sweet dream did set my ears into fire but it was time to make my dream come true!!!time to get ready.it was already 7am and I had to get inside the college premises by 8.30am.
I scanned through my wardrobe for about 15minutes.first day at college is ought to be something special in every one’s life after all.finally I found my navy blue semi formal tee and my black jeans with a high braid.just perfect for the occasion.
By 8am I got ready.just in time to treat myself with few richly buttered toast.yeah,since i came to delhi I too could feel the extra butter in my breakfast.
“bhaiya,lady hardinge chaloge?”
“haan behenji,baithiye.”
Chalo I was relived that even inspite of heavy traffic in delhi I managed to get an auto in time.
“Little girl,kisses her mom,tells her I love you..’’
‘’hello papa.”
“beta college ke liye ready?”
“haan papa.abhi raste me hoon.ap kaise ho?”
“I am fine.aur mera beta kaisa hai?”
“I am cool too.aur batao.missing me na?”
“bohot excited ho?haan beta,missing my princess a lot.”
“okay papa,khana thik se kha lena and dawai time se lelena.and chhutiya hotehi I’ll come to you papa.”
“abhi se hi chhutiyon ki baat?pehle college jao to sahi.and agar koi accha banda mile toh zarur batana.”
“aap bhi na.uff!okay zarur batungi.thik hai chalon bye.gotta tell you lot many things.take care.”
“you too take care beta.i’ll call you later then.bye.”
Yeah,there was I reason for dad to understand that I was excited- I had called him papa instead of dad but how is he able to notice every word I speak.dad you’re great.
“agaya ji apka college.”
“kitna hua bhaiya?”
“pachansh rupaye.”
“pachansh rupaye?chalo thik hai.ye lo.”though It was a shock for me,but dint wanna ruin my first day at college.
I managed to get into the college by 8.30am.
The lady hardinge college!looked like any teenage movie college.high old buildings,high raised pillars,big glass window panes,majestic arches,spacious staircase and campus full of students,some with thick medical books in their hand while others just costly mobiles and still others nothing.so this was lady hardinge’s.
“excuse me,can you tell which way is cardiology department?”
“straight through the staircase,second floor,right corner.”
“thanks.”
The room read “cardiology,1st year”in big black ink.i slowly and timidly entered the room.soom nerd guys and geek girls were already present.as It was a huge gallery room with a big,grumpy green board,a projector sheet,few physiology charts and a podium.there was a small dustbin at the corner as well.it suddenly made me feel like school all over again except the smart monitor’s which were fixed at each desks!
As I was making myself comfortable in the second row 3rd chair when my phone beeped.there was a message “hey,college pohonch gayi?all the best for a new start.and shuniyo,teko maine paise waste karke ainvayi message nahi ki.if you meet any cool,handsome ya cute guy,then mere liye uska number lena mat bhuliyo.you can find lots of such guys in medical colleges”
“uff,bandi kavi nahi sudhregi!” I thought to myself and forwarded her a “ya,sure and thanks”message.

The dose made me more uncomfortable.one part of mine wants to sleep,yet other restrains it thinking that if I sleep today I may never ever wake again..
Chapter six
The first day at college
Seriously,6th may will always remain memorable in my life as my first day in college.all the seats were filled in the room except the one behind me.the professor came in.i wandered who would be my new neighbor? All through school days the place was filled by shanaya.yeah,I had started missing her again.
“VEDYANTIKA CHATTERJEE (rather vedyantika chattejee).”
“present maam.”my delusion was broken by the sudden roll call.the careless,rude voice seemed so different from the sweet voice of kajal maam in school.
“ADITYA KAPOOR(rather aditya kapoo).”
“yes maam.”now the voice seemed to come from the door.i looked into that direction.the door blocked the speaker’s face but his voice seems familiar,yet I couldn’t remember where I had heard this voice.how I wish I could pull the door out of its place just to see who was standing there!
Let me try to present the conversation between professor nilima or whom students mostly called miss anginapectoris due to her pitchy voice and so called mr.aditya kapoo according to professor’s pronunciation.well she couldn’t pronounce “R”!
“and so aditya kapoo,you aa late on the veey(which is supposed to be ‘very’!)fist day of you college!stange.i don’t want any lame excuses,so just go to you seat and attend the classes.”
Atlast I was happy to get to see the guy’s face.my expressions were like”OH MY GOD”.he was the same guy who met me at the mall.so this was aditya kapoor,who dint seem that cheerful as when we met for the first time.despite he took me into notice,tried to smile a bit,rather to hide his OMG expression then due to abashment.he sat behind me.
The day went on good,mainly had introduction,inspiration and cardiac structures.soon it was time for recess.no school like bell was rung,but just a slight buzz announced that it was recess.seriously missed the pranks we used to play during recess in school.ummm…I was getting nostalgic.
But apart from all these I caught a slight glimpse of aditya,looking into the smart monitor and often staring at me may be wanting to say something.naturally being a bit talkative I started the conversation.
“hey,thanks for that day!”
“its okay,by the way,did it suit you?”
“it was for my friend.”
“oh!so did she like it?”
“I am sure she will,but sadly,I still couldn’t gift her that…”and then the story began.i got to know that though he was from lucknow,he was new to this part of NCR.he did his schooling from delhi public and after the basic intro,we found ourselves talking about our school incidents,experiences,situations and many more.
Its completely strange to me that how two people going through the same phase can be so comfortable with each other so quickly yet some so known people can become so strange simultaneously.
Or may be not strange at all.yes I wanted to share my feelings with someone who could atleast understand them,and he was perfect for the situation as he too was going through the same.
The buzz went on again.uff!again professor angina pectoris’s classes and again the cardiac structures. My expectations about cardiac department was that the college authorities would let us operate a corpse soon,but in reality to do that I have to wait for the third year.
How I was waiting to go back home and call up dad and then shanaya and tell them everything about today-the auto price hike,the college campus,the nerds,angina pectoris,how I am missing them and ofcourse about aditya.






Chapter seven

Reminiscence

“20th april and I am a loser again…. I don’t know how people win in everyday life even in petty things as making their bed or pumping a cycle tyre…. For me,its no use telling… I cant even pump a cycle tyre without the help of my dad or even make my bed… I am just leading a bad loser’s life.words seem meaningless here cause I know how much hard I try,I cant explain my feelings at this very moment… today we had a RJ hunt talent show….you know,believing in an idea and seeing it shatter before your eyes are so hellish feeling….yeah,I wasn’t selected….I AM NOT A CRY-A-BABY,BUT THESE SMALL THINGS MATTERS TO ME A LOT.IT CAN MAKE ME OR BREAK ME COMPLETELY CAUSE I AM MADE OF THESE SMALL THINGS.and this is exactly what I wanna shout in front of the world.i am just tired of living this loser’s life and the last thing I want from it is FREEDOM…and I terribly need it.if God ever wanna fulfill any wish then please let him kill me…well earlier two suicide attempts failed and dad still doesn’t know about this.may be just for him I am still living cause he will be the last person I’ll be thinking of living for…last thing I want is a true friend who will understand my soul without having me to speak it out. I may have lots of friends yet I may aswell say I am alone in a unfamiliar crowd………”
Uff… I was such a nuisance,but it still sends chills through my spine just to recollect those tough phases of my life again. I just couldn’t adapt to the new circumstances just after losing my first teenage love…
How I hated those moments!
Yeah I was a cry-a-baby,but now when I look back to those reminesence I find myself laughing at my stupid,silly being.









Chapter eight
Amma ji

“I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow”
While getting out of the bathroom I heard my phone ringing.yeah I knew who it could be.without reading the name I picked up the call.
“whazzup dad?”
“I am fine.what about you?”
“I am cool dad.just getting ready for college.”
“something special?”
“nothing dad”I hadn’t told him about arjun yet.i don’t know why but I wanted to place it as one of the fewest secrects I had.yeah but shanya knows.i feared if dad senses it.
“okay dad,bye.getting late for college.talk to you later after college.take care.”
“bye.you too take care.love you beta.”
Though we dont talk much in the morning,yet I just wait to hear his last line.i just love the way he says love you beta.mum must have been lucky to have such a caring man like him.but I was feelong guilty already for hiding something from him.
I was already feeling cold.i could feel water dripping from my hair on my towel that I was wrapped in and wetting it.i went to my almirah,took out a blue frilled salwar and a red kurti.OMG! I was never so choosy about dresses.may be it was a college fancy.whatever,I thought that the red kurti with black jeans suited me better so I kept the salwar aside.
Yes,I looked good.i winked to myself.as I did my hairdo the bell rang.why couldn’t he milkman come a bit earlier?
Whatever,I took the milk and while coming out of the room I saw that I was already late and first class was of angina’s!
I was waiting for the auto,but delhi me jab auto ki zarurat hoti h to kabhi nhi milti,but jab zarurat nhi hoti to auto ki line lagi hoti h!jo bhi ho,I was waiting for nearly 15minutes now.suddenly a black bike stopped in front of me.the rider(just like a ghostrider)removed his helmet and said”gotcha,hope in fast,”
Who else.yeah it was aditya.
“mujhe jabbhi tumhari zarurat hoti h,tum kaise and kahanse tapak jate ho yaar?”
“ pata nhi,just felt an urge to come through this way,if I would meet you and dekho here you are.ab baith bhi jao meri maa.”
While sitting on the bike I clearly remembered the first time I got a lift from Suraj.yeah,my teenage love,in class 9.
I was suddenly waken up to the reality aditya’s baritone”yeh lo maam,agaya humhara college.”
Soon in some moments we would be in our classroom waiting to receive a lecture from ANGINA again!everything about hardinge was good except professor’s cold voice.




Chapter nine
Getting ready
“So Rimi,are you gonna come tonight?”
“of course,this is my first fresher’s welcome in college.how can I miss it? I wanna experience it too.”
“cool,so what time?”
“why?excited to meet me,huh?”
“ I was thinking if I could pick you up.”
“cool,ummm..8pm?”
“alright,at your place,tonight sharp at 8pm.be ready.”
“okay.”
………………
Back in home I at once called up shanaya.it was the apt time to take her help.
“hey sweetie,whazzup?”
“hey shanaya,how’s you?need your help.”
“aj suraj kidhar se nikla?scholar needs my help?BTW I too gotta tell you something special!”
“jaldi bol.”I knew it was better to first let her give her surprise or else she can never be impatient throughout the conservation.
“you guess sweetie.”
“ummm…got a date?”
“cool.brilliant girl.yup,Jai.amir h,handsome h,thoda cassinova h,but chalta h.”
“wow!or bol kab mili use?”
“are lambi kahani h,kabhi milke bataungi.you say.”
“okay!umm..i got fresher’s welcome in college tonight and umm… I need you tips for my dress and all.you know I am not cool in all these.”
“haan,miss jeans and top banke ghumegi to kahan se yeh sab janegi?what about skirts?”
“SHANAYA!college function h,party nhi h. I want something ethnic.”
“ummm….saree?”
“SAREE?pagal h sabke samne waat lagjayegi yaar!”
“are kuch nhi hoga,tu shun to sahi.”
when her list finally ended,my phone nearly ran out of battery.i messaged dad that I am switching off my phone and he shouldn’t worry.
Now a long way was to be covered.after taking a long,refreshing shower I got down to work with the straightner.yeah,I do look good with long,straight hair.
I tried some home remedies to cleanse my face.waxed my hands and legs.
After working hard for few hours now,I finally looked myself in the mirror.yeah,I looked sleek and finally contended to myself.
I looked at the wall clock.OMG!6’o’clock and I am not yet ready.more than that I forgot to switch on my phone.while switching on my phone,I took out my mother’s ear rings which my dad had gifted me when I got chance in hardinge.it was an awesome craftpiece,perfect fusion of ethnic and modern design.perfect for tonight’s occasion.i just imagined how beautiful my mother might had looked wearing these.
My phone beeped again.dad’s message.
“all the best beta.its your first fresher’s welcome.and don’t go too hard on cosmetics.my angel looks naturally beautiful.return home fast.enjoy and be safe.”
6:45pm and I am still struggling with my saree.
7:15pm,finally I wore it.yeah shanaya was right.blue suited me.
7:20pm,wearing the ear junks and bangles.
7:30pm,I got down with cosmetics.
7:45pm,still my hairdo is left,my eye liner,eye brows and lots left.
7:50pm,my phone beeped again.message from aditya.
“you ready?i am on my way.dying to meet you ;P”
Uff!when will he get rid off his stupid smileys?
8:00pm,finally I was ready.i could hear a car being parked nearby.i hope its not aditya.
Aditya’s message again.
“come down,I am here.come downstairs :D”
I replied,”wait a few sec,plz.i cant find my purse and sandals.”
“should I come up and help you searching it?its already 8:10”
“stop it.i cant reply any more,I really gotta find it :X don’t disturb me now AND DON’T COME UP.”
This time I used a smiley ! Wink.but I really felt bad scolding him for stupid reason and on the top of it,he had to wait for me.
8:20pm,huh!i finally found my black purse and sandals.”
Chapter ten
Aditya speaks:
why do girls take so much time in getting ready?
8:22pm,I saw her coming down from her house.she wore a deep blue saree,net probably.black glimmering bag,and matching black heel sandals.i sometimes imagine how ladies can walk in those heels so casually?as she came near the car,I could clearly smell the sweet wild citrus.she looked amazing and it was worth waiting to get a glimse of hers,especially with her black,straight cascade of hair,which she had left untied.as she sat beside me,I noticed her kohl eyes, glittering in the semi darkness. Though she didnt wear any neckpiece, her dangly ear rings did wonderful job fulfilling the emptiness. I can go on describing her yet I have to stop somewhere, so let it be here.but she looked the most beautiful girl in the whole world among what I have seen .i wanted to tell her that she looked amazing,but she had drawn a line of silence between us,so I gave her her own time to be comfortable.to ease the eerie situation I switched on the stereo.
“somebody needs you,somebody wants you,somebody dreams about you every single night,
Somebody cant breathe,without you he is lonely,somebody hopes that someday you’ll see,THAT
SOMEBODY’S ME…”
I was looking at her stealthily through the front mirror while she was busy moving the locks of hair that silently were settling over her face.her phone beeped.may be someone messaged.she got busy replying the message.suddenly my phone beeped too.it was a message from Rimi.
“sorry for scolding you.old spice smelling good.you look handsome and dashing and thanks for waiting for me and the song.i love it  and you can speak to me now”
So,Rimi too got the contagious disease of using smileys frequently.how can girls go on saying so many things all at once?i wondered to myself.
I too messaged her.”yeah oldspice.you too look dashing.it was worth waiting for you,nothing formal.yeah and I too love the song and you look stunning ”
I saw her blush while reading the message.though that blush lasted only for a milisecond but I am gonna remember it for the rest of my life.was I falling for her?naaee it was only hallucination I think.when you fall in love then aam admi bhi sher banjata h and there I was still the same,driving a borrowed car as myself,aditya kapoor.no changes.i was sure it wasn’t love.both of us was nearly silent for the rest of the journey except the time when Rimi nearly caught my throat for calling her by her nickname.she thinks only her dad is supposed to call her Rimi!ladkia kya umar badhne ke sath sath khatarnak bhi hojati h?!?jo bhi ho I was determined to call her Rimi atleast till I find another suitable name for her!

“You leave me breathless,You’re everything good in my life,You leave me breathless,I still can’t believe that you’re mine,You just walked out of one of my dreams,So beautiful you’re leaving me.”








Chapter eleven
The journey
8:22pm.finally I came down.i saw aditya sitting in a red swift D’ZIRe.no,no wait,I saw what?
Aditya didn’t had a car,or did he?
As I was advancing towards the car,I could smell the strong old spice.cool combo,wild citrus old spice.haha!i laughed to myself.aditya and vedyantika?never
Yup,banda dikh to thik thak raha tha in formals.black suit,white shirt peeping out teamed with blue denim and new reebok shoes.a gentleman can be distinguished by his shoes!his hair looks cool when he spikes it.i am gonna tell him to do it more often.
……………
Its over 15mins now,he dint speak to me.where are his manners?atleast bol to do that I am looking good.
My phone beeped.shanaya’s message.
“hey sweetie,I am sure you are ready for the party.enjoy and don’t call me as my phone will be switched off.i am with jai .okay tata!”
I don’t know since when the hell she started calling me sweetie?may be,jai calls her the same and so she transfers the love to me.BTW,when did I tell her that I would call her?and who the hell told her that I was going to a party?and where the hell she can be with jai at this late hour?may be her first night,last show scheme.may be sitting with jaiat one of the inoxes.bandi kab sudhregi?and she too started using smileys?strange!

“somebody needs you,somebody wants you,somebody dreams about you every single night,
Somebody cant breathe,without you he is lonely,somebody hopes that someday you’ll see,THAT
SOMEBODY’S ME…”
Ab bohot hogaya,I am gonna message this muck.either he is gonna talk to me or I am gonna get down from his car.
I typed the message and sent his.his reactions dint seem to change much.was he angry?
My phone beeped.aditya message.

.”yeah oldspice.you too look dashing.it was worth waiting for you,nothing formal.yeah and I too love the song and you look stunning ”
Uff!stupid smiley.but he did notice me.great!why the hell is he looking at me like this now?am I blushing?
“So Rimi,is that your mother’s ear jinx?”
“yeah!wait,what did you call me?”
“RIMI.once heard your dad calling you by that name.your nickname,na?”
“yeah,but you are not supposed to call me by that name.only my dad can call me by that name,so you better don’t dare or else I am gonna kill you.”
I don’t know why guys are so interfering into other’s life?
……………….
The rest of the journey was quiet enough.we reached hardinge in rest few minutes.hardinge was in a festive mood.the lights and music let the passerby know about the occasion that hardinge was about to witness in the next few hours.i could feel my Goosebumps again 
I messaged dad that I am in the college campus and he doesn’t need to worry and I would send him the pics soon.


Chapter twelve
Fresher’s welcome
We took out our ID cards which we had to show at the gates to get in.
Inside aditya ran to his friends,abhi,shubu and yash.he handed the keys of car to abhi.
Oh!that means he had borrowed the car from abhi to pick me up.BTW,why the hell I am standing here and observing him?i found anchal and neha gossiping at a distance.
“hey,you look gorgeous vedyantika.”
“thanks anchal.you too look stunning.hi neha.”
“heya.whazzup?are you and aditya dating?”
“nope,not at all.btw,you would look more beautiful if you open the specs.”
“I too told her the same thing,dint I neha?”
My phone beeped again.aditya”hey wanna talk to you.can you please come to the coffee stall?i’ll be waiting.”
“excuse me girls.i am coming in a moment.”
I retreated towards the coffee stall.
“haan bol.”
“umm..Rimi..”
“excuse me.”
“okay,vedyantika,those guys over there,do you know them?”
“nope,why?”
“I don’t know but I think,they’re following you.”
“sacchi?i don’t think so.”
Ya,I knew one of them.well just heard him.yuvraj.first year. Onco department.rich spoilt brat nad iil mannered.most probably backdoor admission.
“okay babba,just be safe and please stay near.”
“got it.”
The program soon commenced.there were announcement made.i again got back yo my group of girls.firstly it was the cultural program,dances and stuffs.
Then about 9:30pm,the DJ started.
It was fun.couples were being formed.people were dancing like nuts.some of the outsiders had managed to sneak in.yuvraj and company.most probably had managed to bring in drinks.
NUTS!i thought to myself.
“hey wanna have a drink?”
Now who the muck it was?i turned around.god,it was yuvraj!
“no,I am cool.”
“then the pretty lady surely wants a dance with me.”
“excuse me,she isn’t interested to dance with anyone.”
“and who the f##k are you?her boyfriend or bodyguard.”
Thank god,aditya was there.
“do you have any problem if I am her boyfriend?and will you please excuse us?”
I looked at aditya.had he gone nuts?i wasn’t his girlfriend.may be I was too expressive.i saw aditya wink at me.suddenly a gawar type banda,who surely was an outsider spoke,”zyada bakar bakar kia na,toh londia ko uthake leke jaunga.”
What?!? How dare he refer to me as loundia?!? Outrageous.and aditya just calmly listened to it?
“there are myriads of students,and these are among those imprudent sections of students whom my dad strictly forbade me to mix with.lets go adi.”
Surely the hooligan type guy didn’t understand it or he wouldn’t have kept quiet.but among all this yuvraj’s helpless face was worthy seeing.i an never gonna forget his astounded expression.i don’t think that any girl ever did reject him into anything,before tonight. 
The Friday night had so much in it.it had turned an entire reputed medical college into a night club.but all these,only for tonight.may be from the next morning again we gotta attend miss angina pectori’s class.again the same schedule.the same classroom and the same aditya and me sitting together.








Chapter thirteen
Angel?!?…..no you must be mistaken! 
Adi?did she call me Adi?but bandi me kuch baat h,warna the guy whom no girl has rejected till date,uske samne saale ki bolti bandh hogayi.
Rimi was too quiet after that,no talking to anyone,not even laughing at shubu’s lame jokes.something must be wrong with her.not exactly knowing what to do to eae the situation,I thought talking to her mother might be of some help.
“why don’t you call your mother,Rimi?”
Strange,she dint react to me calling her Rimi.i expected atleast t stern look from her.
“my mother passed away.”
What?i was speechless for a moment.may be maine uske dukhti rag pe haath rakh dia.but my angel doesn’t have mother? 
Wait…did I say angel?read again,you must be mistaken.
“oh,I am so sorry.i dint knew it.sorry.”
“its okay.”
…………………
It was already 10:30pm.Rimi’s dad had called her,so she was talking to him aside.the was so quick yet so apt change of expressions on her face.firstly,as if she would cry on the phone,then suddenly bold,then happiness,lastly subsiding to concern and then a prominent ‘I love you dad’ types expression.
Uff!girls can speak so much over phone.my phone too beeped.my elder brother’s message.nothing special,just how do you do types.as I finished replying,I saw Rimi standing beside me,much relieved now.
“so you cool now?”
“yup!”
“so can we have a dance?....only if you want to.”
I guess,she sensed the nervousness in my voice.she smiled.”ya,sure.”
That moment!i would give again anything just to live that beautiful moment once again.




Chapter fourteen
The dance
Yeah! He was warm,cozy.but what I liked most was that he knew how to respect people.polite,humble yet manages to find a place in every one’s heart.
He held me lightly by his left hand and we danced swinging ourselves to the melody.i could sense his nervousness.i felt like laughing at his nervousness.i am not that fierce afterall! 
Kahin na kahin to hogi woh,
Duniya jahan tu mere sath h,jahan main,jahan tu,
Aur jahan bas tere mere jasbat h….
“I love this song.”
“Me too.”
“Same pinch.”
“Come on Rimi,its good for friends to have same likes and dislikes.”
I think he sensed I was teasing. I didn’t know he was thinking so deep about our friendship. But it certainly felt good to be important in someone’s life being so far away from home.
“But likes repel each other.”
“come on,I hate physics.so better stop it.”
“same pinch again.”
I felt sleepy.i could feel his masculine hairy chest,warm and cozy.i peeped at my watch.10:30pm.time to return home.but it was as if the delhi perty started just now and is getting more livelier as night is concealing these post teens with its veil deeper.
No one seemed interested or were in hurry to go back home,so giving up my thought of waiting for any friend to drop me home,I subsided to my most secured idea.
“hey adi,can you please drop me back to my home?i am not feeling safe to go alone at this hour.”
“sure and you don’t have to be so formal.i hate formal girls.”
Who the muck told you to love me either?i thought 
“okay bye friends,meet you tomorrow.Rimi and I am going back home.”
I gave him last nasty look for calling me Rimi again,but it soon converted into inevitable smile.atlast I allowed Adi to call me Rimi.

Chapter fifteen
Aditya speaks about the drive
“so enjoyed?”
“yeah.”she was wiping her lips after finishing the coke she brought from college.
I remembered that I had forgotten to bring my coke can which I had kept at the chair before going for the dance.
“so what did you like the most?”
“ummm…that dance fusion,the DJ and our dance and ofcourse the chicken sticks.simply yum.”
Thank God,she was non-veg.atleast she wont mind me devouring the chicken legs and wings before her eyes.
“so when are you going to Kolkata?”
“don’t know still.not now atleast.the semester just started.”
“oh!so next time when you go there,don’t forget to bring rasgullas.”
“sure.”
She looked out of the window.sure she did miss her mother.there was an unequivocal emptiness in them.her lips shuddered a little.
“you alright?” I asked her.
“ya, I’m fine.”
I could sense that she was trying to hide her sorrow within herself.she faked a smile.she avoided any least eye contact with me lest I should again ask her about her most vulnerable part.
The rest of the way,she was quiet.she just played with her mobile phone,or may be messeged someone.may be her dad.as if a whole lot of silence surrounded us.just the car stereo played.

Little girl kisses her mom
Tells her I love you
Holds on to her hand
Little girl doesn’t have much
She walks with a smile she is so full of life
But she cries in the night just tryin to hold on no one can hear she is all alone this little girl closes her eyes
All that she wants is someone to love…..
One big , round tear rolled down her cheek by the side of her left eye.she tried to hide that from me but till then I had already seen it.her effort was futile.her eyes met mine.there was a strange shyness.she looked down.

We soon reached her place.the street light blinked at a distance.she opened the door and got out of the car.i thought she would go away without even saying bye,but she came to my side.
“chalo bye.kal milte hai and thanks for dropping me home.”
“its okay.bye.take care.”
I kept staring at her till she vanished behind the door.
All I could think during my way back home was the dance and her big round tear.





































































hey guys m still working on this one.i really need ur reveiws.i mean plz plz read it and dnt fgt to snd ur valuable reviews and comment.so plz help me out frnz,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,



btw 12th boards nearby,so wnt be writing frequently.u have to wait for the next chapters.hope u like goin thru the contents of my buk.


keep on reading and writing...............

hey guys sorry for late bloogin.jus goin thru blank heads for somedays bt sure m gna return....and return fast with the heart rending story of the girl hu was brutally killed

it was the most happening day of my entire existence.i dashed across the hallway,went to my room,half panting,half excited,half disbelief i booted my computer.what i saw next made me jump out of exitement.yeah i used to get too jumpy at times.the 17inches computer screen clearly showed my name among the shortlisted candidates of lady hardinge medical college,delhi.by that time i could feel heavy breathes behind me.it was my dad's.i could sense the happiness in him...he did feel proud of his daughter,but even then i could sense a fear of loss in him.