The cold coffee girl's Diary

A gift, a good bye was all she had.
This time, time was not distancing them. Distance was.
somewhere lost between the glee of his happiness and the terror of her pain, she stood there hoping for a gesture, for a goodbye or maybe just a smile..
With that farewell gift she made for him, she sat down holding all the love all the efforts she could put in. A box filled with notes for him, for when he's happy, when he's sad, when he'd be missing his home, her effort was to be with him always despite being miles and miles apart. Bad luck that has jinxed her always showed its presence this time too. In hustle and bustle of his departure she had to keep that gift in his cupboard. Only if it went the way she wanted, only if she could hug him for the last time.. but bad luck..
She thought he was changing his country. He knew he was changing his life.
As he left, a cloud of emotions surrounded her.. Love, confusion, despair, helplessness, and his need. The air around her had his voice, the traces of his presence, his cologne and memories.
As she came back home and lied down on her bed she realized that his cologne had slowly faded, if only she knew he was going to fade too..

A dream, nightmare.
A guy, mistake.
A promise, unkept.
A wish, still a wish.
A tear, in sleep.
A beep, an alarm.
A sad song on her lips.
Through the lyrics, sleep seeps in.
And as she sleeps, A dream..

The cold coffee girl.

Part (I)

She’s enjoying her life, she is just so happy and every time she laughs she’s truly elated.
Happy April fool’s day people.
The joke ends there.
You have opened this link and thus with me you are embarking on a vivid journey. The journey of the cold coffee girl.
The description.
She’s a puzzle. A jigsaw puzzle. Scattered. Intentionally. And difficult to reconstruct.
Pieces of her, glimmering eyes with luster like that of pearls. A vibrant smile, so bright that it puts the sun to shame. Color of the skin, the brightest shade of Indians. Shoulder length Royal black hair which she harasses for not being long. Hands so sleek fingers so docile. I bet her first baby frock read, ‘fragile handle with care’. An attractive concave waist which nobody is allowed to see. Not even the mirror sometimes. Perfect legs, perfect toes. (not everyone has them) almost 5’5” above the ground she stands with an ever-present smile on her beautiful face. A smile she has spent 23 years to design. A smile that hides the darkest secrets she has. A smile that she believes, fools people. A smile that shifts the focus of the viewer from tears to it. A smile that covers the excruciating pain inside her. A smile so pretty that no one will ever make out that the lips those are curving so beautifully now were wailing in distress some hours ago.
Bed time. Is it ? Nah. Its her morning. Its the time when she’ll open the box of her dreams, and feed the devil of what ifs. Its the time she’s gonna replay the last 23 years of her life. Feeling again the pain that killed, problems that were always uninvited and people Who left. Everybody just left. Some with smiles some with tears destiny had seperated her from every soul she connected. By the means of distance, difficulties and differences. All which she had never created. Eyes getting heavy with each memory bouncing back, she tries hard holding back her nose but she sees a box of memories on the room shelf and bursts into tears. Breaths hard, hard enough to be mentioned as alive. Wants to shout. Scream. She does. She screams out horribly loud. Inside her. On herself. That somehow numbs her. Like a body that has been given shock therapy she manages to reach her bed.

Now Every night she gets to that bed, crawls inside her fav. Blanket and sneaks into another world. Full of air. Full of love. Full of people she once loved. “Loved” . smiling she realises that she’s into a dream land. Every thing is beautiful and fresh. There’s a cold breeze and a guy coming towards her with lillies in his hand. Her heart starts pounding. When it comes to love, she notices the lillies first. White and pure lillies, so like her. As the lillies come closer her smile brightens but suddenly the air starts getting thick, everything starts to blur, her chest gets heavy, droplets of sweat start to trickle down her magically carved neck. Searching For the Lillies that slowly faded away she realized it was all a dream. Again. Yet another dream. And it was 45° out side and she was grilling inside the blanket. It was time to wake up. When did i sleep ? Was the only question she had. Everyday. Every morning. She missed the lillies, the air, the liar and yes a sound sleep.

With sleepy eyes she’s reading this. With a drop of tear that proves the pain and a faint smile that Proves the truth.

Truth. Is all she’s searching for. Truth behind injustice. Truth behind her destiny. Truth behind her reason to be here. Truth behind her relations. Truth behind every breath. Truth behind her existence.

Truth seeks you. Just stay firm. It'll seek you.

Just like I did.