sleepyhead's Diary

:P छाती नहीं चाहती

एक पोस्ट पढ़ा आज पढ़ कर अपने बचपन की याद आ गई. क्या दिन थे वो। हमारे घर में करीब 15 लोग रहा करते थे जिसमे सबकी लाडली मैं सबसे छोटी। सबसे मजे के दिन होते थे त्योहारों के ख़ास कर छठ पूजा के जब और भी भाई बहन बड़े पापा और बड़ी माँ भी आते थे। क्या धूम होती थी घर पे। वो छत पर कब्बडी, छुआ छुई , पिट्टो और जाने क्या क्या. शोर मचाने पर काफी डाट पड़ती पर किसी को कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता था। जब पापा डांटने आते तो सब छुप जाते.फिर एक एक कर के चुपके चुपके नीचे उतर जते। पर भैयु और पिंटू भैया किसी को न मिलते क्योंके वो दोनों अपनी लम्बाई का फायदा उठा कर छत के भी ऊपर टंकी पर चढ़ जाया करते थे फिर एक आधे घंटे बाद जाने कहाँ से घूमते हुए आते और कहते हम तो घर पर ही नहीं थे। सबसे ज्यादा चांदी मेरी होती थी। हर कोई मुझे घुमाने ले जाना चाहता था। और जो छाती मैं वो मुझे दिलाया जाता। एक संयुक्त परिवार में रहने के कारण मेरा बचपन काफी अच्छा था। अब तो सब कहाँ बिखर गए कितने दिन हो जाते हैं सबसे मिले हुए। कभी कभी मिलना हो जाता है पर अब उनके बच्चे वो सारे खेल तमाशे किया करते हैं।

was missing my dear diary today a lot..not getting much time now a days to write or read posts..just due to priority factors..finally classes are goin to be over now..and season of tests and exams is coming..looking forward to it..improving, learning from my own mistakes..

so, here i am again. writing my diary after a while..i am quite happy and content these days. changing my perspective about the concerns i had did it..wo hum sub kahte hai na life me badi problem hai... bas nazariye ka fark hota hai..koi bhi bada kaam aasan nahi hota..kuch samay lag sakta hai but agar dil se kiya jaye to sab mumkin hai.. i don't want to aim for less, aiming high is what can give strength to my endeavors.. besides that i have everything i wanted in my life..touch wood..wishing everything goes well..

dear diary,
i dont want to make any excuses but i m just another girl who wants to have her laziness, craziness and some peace. There r somethings in life which r tough and no matter how much u try u can't excel in that.. but the thing i keep in mind that no matter how tough something is i will keep on trying..

mondays are getting lazy and useless.. after classes on weekends and OPD's n monday studies take a backlog.. i need to get some more energy.. BTW i got explanation to the thing i mentioned what happened to me on oct 4, there are two types op sleep 1.REM(rapid eye movement)sleep and 2.Non REM sleep..in REM sleep there may be a relative paralysis of muscles mediated by an area in brain- locus ceruleus in pons.thats why onemay experience that he's awake but cant move. thanx to physiology teacher..the class was gud and useful. have to revise each and everything before next class.. energy energy energy... :P

A book is in my plan..one that i have to read..and one that i have to write.. reading plan is more important at present and suppressing the other one..i want to write and complete my story..but studies..i have to do my best... life's gonna be tough this year..but i have to keep patience and maintain my interest..and continue doing what is right at the moment..i may have a boring and dull life now but it's gonna pay me back in the end rt?? so i don't have to lose hope whatever be the circumstances..everything will be alright.. till then i'll keep loving myself and my life..

life is never what one imagines how it would be...the moment you are strong it could turn over and make you a loser..the moment you lose all hopes it could save you from drowning into sea of jeopardy..the one who could balance between these two states is the one who remains calm and consistent with his efforts. perspectives in life should be clear enough to accept all situations and to find moments of joy in all situations..planning is good but depending too much on any plan is what makes someone weak..
life is good..
keep smiling.. :)

talking my heart out always feels better..but what if its like shouting in a cave what if no one listens..this what if grows louder in my mind...but most of the time it is relieved by a friend of mine..so cute and lively..we talk out loud tell and solve each others problems and at end of our conversation we say.. u know what u r my person and the other one says u too dear..u too r my person..glad to have you in my life..touchwood..i have a solution to this what if..

dear diary,
i feel fulfilled as per now. classes hv started i am gaining some pace over my studies. although lil tough as backbone and pelvis were aching like hell towards the end of a two 12 hr sessions of class..but besides extreme tiredness lies the feeling of satisfaction..wish it goes well..

free as a bird..loving d feeling...:)

sometimes every one needs rest..i woke up this morning to realize that i am sick and wont be able to do atleast double shift today. and going to work was like apne pairon par kulhadi marna..so i called my dear brother that i wont be coming to work at all today..and i rested the whole day..now feeling at little peace..
so so looking forward to monday... actually OBG postings to get over.. and then i will be free as a bird...

whats better than a sunday morning after four continuous weeks of work without any leave...and the best part is being woken up by a call from mom n dad and being pampered to get up..and then receiving
calls successively from two of your besties..:) :) the only flaw was not havin morning tea with and from my friend who is out of town for a few days n m utterly missing her... anyways cheers to a chilly icy quilty winter morning... :) i feel good...:)

i woke up today n i had first thought in my mind..i need a change wy not go for a haircut...have some new things in my wardrobe...and as soon as i came frm work i shared this idea wid my frns..one of thm supported me and we went we went to market to bring a change in me...:P we went for random shopping..not that i was overflowing with money..but certainly i was overflowing with this strong feeling to feel good about myself...:) so i got a haircut..a new style this time..n its lookin gud on me...:) yey..got some stuff for myself..n nw i m almost happy..:P almost...:D
so this was my resolution this year to feel good about myself n bring back the same cheerful person..i hope i stick up to tht..:)
n yp one thing.. writerbabu is takin on my nerves...
MAY BE I'M ADDICTED...:) :) there is so much to read..so many nice ideas n literary pieces..i cant stay away frm it..even though nt getting anything to write..but sometimes reading is fun too...
so till others write and have fun writing..i will continue reading cuz reading is fun to... :)
gunnyt writerbabu's... :) :)

today was an awsm day... i took out first child of a women with my own hands from her uterus in Cesarean section.. performed almost all steps of this major surgery by myself..:)n i loved that it ws a girl..although the mother ws nt bt i was happy to take out the baby girl and introduce her to the world..common baby girl..u r out now..cry cry cry..ws wt i uttered.. :) :)and she did cry wid her small baby mouth, opened her small baby eyes and then i cut her cord ...both the mother n the baby r perfect till now.. :) performed one minor procedure too all by myself for the first time......n now m havin severe backache after the 12 hr shift...:P so gunnyt people...life is good..

hmmmmm..not getting much time to write...missing writerbabu a lot.
OBG is exhausting m havin n no free day even Sunday for next week..this vicious cycle is goin on since i returned from home..sad to see my reputation on WB deteriorating...but nice to see so many badges..yo baby i have 12 badges..:) there is so much to read on WB..so m goin trough each n every nice post i missed these days..i'd join the writing community later till then i'll be on the reading and polling side..and i wish other writerbabus to keep writing...writing is fun... ;)

winter winter chilly n cold
refreshing all memories old..
same was the season same the coat
not around the hand i hold...
chilly winter the icy temperature has all the power to bring back lovely old memories..my story has a strong association with winter..
although i don't like it much coz i fall sick most of the time..yet it has embraced so many wonderful moments of my life that i could never curse it for being too cold...this chilly sensation runs into my nerves and every time this happens i go down the memory lane remembering clearly each and every detail of the lovely moments..
n thts wy i love winters coz although those moments r never coming back again..yet the memories remain...so i will walk tonight again in the fog thinking n refreshing my moments..the moments in which i was the queen..the moments which make me still feel great.. :)
P.S. i have night shift tonight n still i feel good... :P

ohh.. i m feeling so so relaxed afters four days full of 7 shifts with two night shifts in a row..seemed like my room has been transferred to the hospital..till now the life was running peacefully with some work, my books and my dear lappy. only OBG deptt can make you realize how hell a doctor's life could be.. .finally i could take a leave to attend my pg entrance exam and to attend most awaited marriage ceremony of my lovely friend..dunno what is the problem with the HOD (i think its the same with most of them) when i asked for a leave she behaved as if i asked for her money or something..i had to convince her a lot and she only got ready when i assured her that i will arrange for my casualty duty shifts and that i will never ask for any leave in next two months..whatever but she cant catch me now.. :)so plans r on to get a killer look :P lets see wt happens as u can never predict such things.. :D haha its so me i know....to add upto excitement one more friend is coming to attend the marriage and i hope we as a trio will have loads of fun..
yo baybey...

so writerbabu was saying me repeatedly that my diary was missing me...why wont it be missing me when i was having loads of fun at home..diwali and then chhath puja..awesome holidays n i totally enjoyed each and everyday restlessly..so starting from diwali..had fully loaded blasting loud and totally safe diwali with my family..n very next morning met an old friend on coffee and had totally awesome scooty ride on streets of patna wid my friend..then the fun started again wid my family...lots of gappein, golgappe, dumsraj,killer,housie,chips,badi ma made noodles,and lots more....n specially waking up at 1.30 after sleeping at 12.00 followed by long drive to ganga ghat for chhath puja...this was the most wanted break from the boring life at hostel and hospital... :) so nw m totally refreshed and having a big smile on my face..despite the fact that m missing home already...

hahaha so here is a wicked plan.. there is this one SR who comes in Tuesday's OT and doesn't let us do the surgery(the basic one which every intern is intended to do) as he captures all of them.. so me n my friend have decided to not put those cases on tuesday any how.. we hv decided to postpon the preanaesthetic checkup of those cases and put them on saturday's OT in which he doesn't come... n nw this is my plan laugh...hohohihihahahahahahahahha... :P