Mishty kapoor's Diary

sometimes i feel lyk watevr happn wid me or evrythng tat m of disturbd nw or suffrng alot z al becz of me... i was d only culprit i guess...
acptng ur mistake z gud i knw bt m i tat bad... :-(
evry1 cmit mistkes in der lyf n if i did so thn wats wrng... ! m nt god ! neithr u al r , bt i thnk in my case evry1 has becme god n declrd me culprit ! der z a thng cal trust tat one shud hve atleast wen u cal sme1 as friend !
bt no ! wen it cme to der case i had frgve dem many times widout evn demandng ny xplaintn !
let it b! if dey dnt care about u n let dem b! jst rembr u r a princes ... fel lyk princes gal! hw mch care u r owng to u ? tell! jst lav urslf !! :-)
no 1 wil entrtain u in ur lyf ! dnt find uq hapines in othr ! find ur hapines wid a spcl swet awesme persn ?
arey .... dnt get amazd !!! its u :-) princes :-) !
b hapie it z d bst way to make othr jealous :-P ! sounds grt :-)
i jst lav me nw :-) ......

Its being long nw ! i didnt write frm many mnths! many thngs hve changd til nw... bt its lyf it need to b keep goin ... i knw we shud aprciate wat we hve wid us... bt...

d smile behnd d yelng cryng n torn out heart z al i hve! to wat xtnd i wil tk it , wat i want frm my lyf ... shud i repnd on my past !

no ... nt at al! wat m i lukng fr nw ! i thnk i knw its a FRIEND ! bt i m hvng frnds thn y... wat xctly i want ! wid whch felng m goin thrw ... i mis my best frnd ! bt yupe it z also true tat we cnt b frnds lyk b4 evr in lyf! so no need fr al dis! just let go...
let go...

puzzled...huhhhhh!!!!
or i wud rather say wanna to be puzzled!!!
how can i be so confused???
did i knw me!!!!
m i doing right!!!
m i again hurting someone????
am i again becoming the reason for someones tear!!!!
wat to do!!!!!
m i again lying to me......is tat ol i m upto or thinking of!!!!
wat is making me upset????
y m not normal now!!!
wat happen to me xactly!!!
did i know the answer or wanna to unaware of tat!!!!
m i really unaware of all!!!!!
wat should i conclude with dis.......

its being long now !!!!
life has again taken out twist and turn and taught me new lesson to learn !!!! but one thing that i got about me is how weak i m....sometime i fell like i m pathetic !!!! just because i need something how i can let things go wrong with me...
when i know that things are not gud for me thn also i do it :-(
why????
how can i be so dumb????? chiiiii.....
but yyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!
dont know anything.....
hope i will get the answer soon
help......

what to do now.... m losing my patience now !!!! things are quite pathetic now!!! give me the will god... give me the strength so that i can came from it !!!! u have helped me always by giving me the strength to deal with the worst situation !!! please give me today also that strength so that i can cope up with this...relax...calm down...things are under controlled now...everything is fine...the strom inside your heart has stopped now...feel relived now...

you are gods best child...you know dis na...n u r super gal also!!!
god will make you strong to such an xtend that no one will dare to hurt u at all!!! smile swti life is not that complicated !! its not that if things are not in your favour now it would not be later .... good is waiting for you!!!!

smileeeeeeeeeee plzzzzzzzz

u r spcl for u!!! remember this always!!! u r precious for u.....
love urself to that extend that u evn dont need anyone for you!!!!

i m really getting impatient now!!! wanna to cry hard....but!!! the life take out turn.... few hour back i was flying like a butterfly but how can take fight with my destiny!!!! i think i will always be an unlucky heir.... leave this now!!! better get indulge in yourself only because this would be apt for me!!! m not that blessed enuf!!! accept it now and smile now you are not meant for anything!!! do not create any nuisance now and stop all dis.... u r really dumb gal!!! till now you didn't get anything and start moving on that track again .... how could you sometime i feel i give invitation to my problem of my own!!! disgusting!!!! pathetic....leaveit now u know all so please make things clear now!!!!!

as i had mentioned earlier that something is there that is not letting me in peace!!!now the question is what is thst????
for that i need to turn the pages the pages of my life back!!!!a strange fear arose in me when i thought for that....should i really need to look back or i m already in past only!!!does that mean i m still in my fantasy world....but i had accepted all!!! then why i m not moving ahead ??? why my feets get trembled when i take my step ahead!!!today with the blessing of almighty i again got the chance to have a good friend of mine but if my fortune would let me with him!! as i am an unlucky heir in terms of relations wether it has been in any aspect so m quite afraid now!!!!
don't wanna to deal with that pathetic situation again!!! no .... not again...feeling to cry!!!
today i don't know why m feeling as if this day is going to shed alot of tears from my eyes!!!!

huhhh!!!! finally i had started writing again...... i had promised myself that i will not write again, not because i don't like this but for the sake that i don't want to add any further bad memories in my book!!!!!
but as usual wat u think never happened!!!! why the hell i am writing now????? i think i am quite happy now....i think....i don't know !!! stop be-fooling yourself gal!!! but why i am not happy now?????
things are quite in peace now!!! but maybe the traces of my past would not let me in peace!!!! so finally m goin to write now!!!
let see how much i get to know me further........

till now something is there that is not letting me in peace