Mehak's Diary

Dear diary.
I had an awesome day today. not because i had adventure, laughed, went out. but i got a day off after 3 weeks. i slept and slept and slept. and instructed my juniors to work otherwise i l chuck them out. i spoke to some interesting photographers. new experience. life is going great. i enjoy myself being busy. because when i am free i feel sad. and desperate. now i have cat classes, my college, my ngo and my annual fest in kitty. so no days off before 12 march!!!
after the fest gets over i l get relax time when i l go shopping. i l visit my friends. and i l watch movies. i want to watch kai po che but can not because of my hectic college. i have become a workaholic.
i want to write so much but i am missing words. i need to learn to express myself more to others. this is the reason i am single till now. isn't it strange a girl like me being single. this is being self obsessed. but i know i am not that bad.. i am pretty, fun loving, little intelligent and very feminist. and i want to be social worker, or a politician or a journalist who has the power to change this world. i want to bring real reforms to my nation.
and i forgot to mention. i am in love with this season. it is so rejuvenating unlike gloomy winters. need not pile on myself with heavy overcoats and sweatshirts. no need to wear mufflers. its so cool walking in pajamas and loose tees. i need to become girlish now.. and little elegant as well.
oh shit its quarter to 1 and i have class tomorrow morning. so gotta sleep and dream of my prince charming...

hii dear diary!!
its been too long since i visited you..
i m so muddled up..
i dunno why but i thinking i have started developing feelings for this guy...
its unbelievable but i think this great friendship will take a turn..
i didn't have any feelings for him earlier but he has started behaving with me in a way that i melt.. he has been consistently been inquiring if i am single, if a had a boyfriend, whose was my crush in school.. isn't it funny.. n keeps on boasting about himself that he is so popular in in college, so many girls asked him out, how many girls like him..
this shouldn't have any effect on me but i am getting effected..
when we in school my friends used to link me with him, i wonder why, they used to say that we look compatible and i used to laugh, but since last few days i keep on thinking why they thought so.. there must me something, and come to conclude there is nothing, hes just a friend and will continue to remain so, but suddenly i am deviated, he is not that bad.. he can be more than a friend..
i am so confused.. being a single one in a group makes me crazy, even ayushi is dating now.. am i being desperate.. no!!!
someone help me out.. what should i do...?
should confess my feeling to him..?
i think i like him..
hell!!
i am going mad..
pls help me...
n i hope he reciprocates my feelings..

now m off to sleep..
n i am so relieved to share my feeling with someone :*

good night

with lots of love
Mehak

i met a friend today.. it was his birthday..i spoke to him yesterday night on his birthday at 12:30.. he expected me to be earlier.. but i was deliberately late because i wanted to talk to him.. i wanted him to get free so that i have more time with.. i don't know whats with him.. he is as sweet to him as we never fought.. he calls me his best friend even if we spoke after 3 months after fighting.. i never got attached to any one.. i was always reserved.. but i opened up with him in just 15 days.. how could i make a best friend in just a months time.. my friends tease me with his name.. but i know its nothing what they think.. i never had "those" feelings for him.. i was never jealous of girlfriends.. i loved his girlfriend today.. because i know i am irreplaceable from his heart... n i love him for that... he is my best friend and i don't want him to be sad ever ..