Fozy Fixer's Diary

Just Another Guy

Today was a strange day!!
It’s not that i don't have these kinds of days but i don't know today was just a little more out of the box kind of a day
I discovered that unlike many people i don't want to be a highly successful person.
What i want is too be just another guy in the world with all the normal things.
But then i woke up from my thoughts and realized what i was actually doing... I was sitting in a lecture (they all are boring. so not a special mention about this particular one being boring) and was day dreaming.
I day dream.
I do it a lot these days and often.
I don't do it consciously but somehow mind wanders from the reality and places itself in a fantasy world most of the times that not even some place real.
But many a times I end up reliving scenarios from my past and thinking about what I could have done differently so that I wouldn't end up being where I am now.
I study in a college where cut throat competition and putting oneself above other is the only way people think that they can succeed in life. But not all are like that; I have met people who help other selflessly.
Well that not the point of discussion here (my college!!).
Well because of my presence in such a college my peers and family think i have a chance to change society.
But i don't think that only a person with caliber can influence the society. Aaah alas i don't want to change the society.
The society as I see is an intricate woven cloth made of the finest of the fabrics placed carefully along each other such that a single fabric broken to torn changes the shape, the strength of the cloth.
I am also one such link in the society. We all are.
But some fabric or the strands are different. Some are more strong then other and some are more colorful some are really the weak ones the ones that are rather affected to easily. But me i am just another link.
I don't find myself to be an interesting person. That’s the reason i think most of the peers of mine just don't want to talk to me. I don't have habits like most of my friends.
I prefer isolation rather than socializing.
I seldom go out. I don't have a girlfriend and looking over from my past few months’ behavior i don't think i will end up having one.
Due to this kind of behavior people say i am anti-social or as I say rather the unwoven/ill-woven fabric in the cloth of society.
it's looks like my dreaming about being all normal and having a life like just another guy is the way of my mind saying that i need to go back to my being the proper and simple fabric again, like being an outcast doesn't suits me.
Whatever be the case these odd days looks like are the ones i really need not to just day-dream about.
Looks like they may have to finally come out in the real world face my real problems and see that being just another guy is not that easy after all.


p.s. i also write seldom. This may looks like to be a big elaborate plot about nothing but it actually helped me to clear my mind. The fog has been removed and the sun shall shine bright again :)
Well on the darker side of the things i hate that ill-woven fabric of the society who so ruthlessly raped that 5 year old child. Fabrics like these should be simply cut out of the cloth it just strengthen the cloth