Bored Engineer's Diary

Today I updated my Diary, modified many details, in particular changed age from 23 to 27. Writerbabu has a bug, it does not auto update age based on datetime stamp. Anyway doesn't matter... age is just a number :D

I realised my last entry is of 2013. My inconsistency is stupendous.The last time I wrote in my diary, I was in College pursuing undergraduate course and single, now again i am in college but doing postgraduate course and married.

Like always, I have decided that from now on I will be consistent and more stable in writing, as you can see I have grown up in age, four years changed a lot of things. So, see you seen dear D.

m not an atheist but not even a firm believer...my mind keeps fighting to choose up between the existence of the supernatural or the pure science, at the same time i'm not able to believe both....but when science stops working???

i'm experiencing instances that is driving me towards belief over god...but yet i don't believe performing rituals..i guess i need help

i was born in free India, so i don't have much realizations about the significance of the independence of our country from foreign hands.....when i was in school it was special with all sorts of cultural activities...completely fun :) :) the art and craft exhibitions, painting and science exhibitions, the school parade, the group songs, dance, dramas n all....childhood was better, as i grew older, my concepts are changed...i feel so bad that the independence that our country got after so much struggle is such a way misused by dirty politicians to fill their own pockets with the nation's treasury...

India is great of course but only in its cultural diversity, geographical and physical assets, traditions and mythology and sports teams.

otherwise women and girls in this country are not yet completely independent..

wishing for the day India will get independence from corruption, economic disparity, regionalism, racisim and dirty politicians and social stigmas.

that day this gen n ahead will not consider independence day as just another holiday.

i guess, i am having the best time of my life...close to family in Delhi :)

'thoughts can change but never the feelings that comes from inside',

it just happened today morning, that a page came out from my notebook, where i had scribbled thoughts coming at that time i was studying with that notebook and it was written long back...i felt this line quite nice and to my surprise it was written by me in that page..

so i think one should never force or expect anyone to change the way they feel, all one can do is try to cultivate good thoughts.

every night i dream of a fight, many times action fight with hooligans, other times cat fight with any of the random girls i know, defensive fight with wild animals, brawls with my old friends and these days it has reached limits, i saw fighting for life with a zombie and today morning it was fighting with water waves in tsunami, i was almost dead :(....earlier after waking up i used to be happy that it was a dream but now i feel worried, why do i see such dreams??? in my real life i had no fighter spirits, never i even had a fight....i am always calm and peaceful..is it some kind of sign??

its just two months and my college life is about to get over...i'l miss it definitely...i have started on a fiction novel inspired by my college life...that will be the best way to keep memories afresh and the best storage for the wonderful as well as the bad memories i had here.

happy holi dear friends and every1....

m very excited about coming morning...after many long years..m hvng the same excitement as i used to have when i was kid...just in childhood it used to be fun with family n now with friends...i just want to enjoy this holi to its fullest as its goin 2 b last holi of my clg life....

i guess m having 'psychologically' the worst time of my life.

its stressful, depressing and gloomy.

when i read my owm diary's past entries..it feels what stupid thoughts keep coming in my mind, like the last entry was crap.

m having great time here with pj and nidhi having telgu shop's idly and pani puri everyday :)

yesterday we went to shopping..any girl's favorite time pass..and i LOVE TO SHOP :) so it was good time..as usual i crossed my shoppng budget.. :( but can't help it, really.

feeling so ALONE...its not the first time that m feeling alone but this loneliness is filled with frustration, this holiday could have been the best one but actually it turned out to be the worst one just because my exams got postponed and i wasn't able to go home and missed a great trip and a wedding.. just left alone here in bangalore..even friends are leaving now.

its all gloomy gloomy days..with nothing good coming up...just crying on and on and getting headaches worsening my situation..
:( :( :(

yesterday i got a mail from mu-sigma that i am not eligible because m still in a cool off period that is its only five months since i last applied..it has to be six to be eligible...this was embarrassing not because i was reading aloud my mail publicly but in my last diary entry i confessed that i wanted it desperately...this was sad again..1st attempt was rejection, 2nd not eligible..i really don't hope for a 3rd.

m enjoying my holidays in the best way..to sleep till 2 in afternoon, do nothing interesting, watch gossip girls n eat...that is all.

well..its likely that my sem results will be out in few days..

there is peace in my rum...no more heated exchanges..n a formal frnds knd of scene..bt hopefully it wl bcum alrite..time heals all pain...neway after a very long gap aftr my xams..i finally touched buk 2dy to prepare for placement...mu-sigma placement test..AGAIN

when last time i got rejected in its PI, i have decided i'l go for one more chance n tht time i'l get thru..the time has cum..the test is on 18th..

whether i pass or fail..i'l honestly infrm my diary :)

it was a very sordid time...i have seen many of my friends splitting up and this was the worst..my best friends..we three room mates are the best friends or i guess we were :( some crap situations happened and it seems that the sweetest was not the nicest and the finest was not the sweetest so this resulted in an embroiling situation.

m also hurt :( but who cares about a hurt when others are injured.
i had always been a silent spectator..keeping myself away from wars and keeping a middle face. but this time i need to do something..if i take anyone's side..i won't ever be able to forgive myself for making the other one alone..so eventually have to face the awkward silence in my room...i guess this time..i have to do something..i can't let my best friends split up..i cannot be a silent spectator anymore

i am already having a personal diary...this is my first open diary and its my first diary entry..as usual my mind has become blank as what to write..i'l keep my first entry simple, no fake promises that i will write everyday n i definitely can't b honest as its a public one :p well today i started on with my internship at wb...this time as there is no exam pressure...i hope i'l do my job in the best possible way...