Arastu's Diary

After very long years , i am again to this place for a while....wished i should have told you something...but couldn't as the situations were not as easy as i had thought. there is a lot of events i haven't told you .my failures, my success, my joy and my sorrows and when my love become my hatred and when i had lost hope. no one knew the conditions prevailing in my life that time.There is a lot to talk.dont know from where to start.........

I feel that the world is quite difficult to live.The situation is again conspiring against me.I have to do some thing about it.I just cannot sit idle and see myself getting destoyed.I have to learn to walk against time........................

jo saham gaye bas uchi lehro ko dekh kar
wo samandar me utarne ka jigar nahi rakhte
jo waqt se lad kar tairna seekh lein
wo toofan me bhi tairne ka jigar rakhte hain.

Some times there comes a situation where you know that there is a very thin line between life and death and time is slipping out of your hands but you can do nothing to save it.I faced a similar situation today in our hospital.This situation is not new to me but when expectations from the relatives of such patients are very high from me despite my repeated attempts of showing my helplessness,i start to doubt the purpose of me being there.The situation becomes grim specially when the dying individual is a young child and the only child, in the arms of her mother.I'm trying to console myself but that picture of weeping mother with her dead child in her arms is flashing in front of me every time.God help me.
......Oh I need some peace in my mind.

Dear Diary,
some times,an individual should have patience and believe in himself.What ever he is doing,he must have faith on it.He might get it wrong but atleast he can learn by some mistakes which he can never repeat in future.I learned to have faith on myself today..................
Hope,the mistake will teach me some other day.

Now I strongly believe that some of the deeds are never going to leave you any time during your life.Whether Good or Evil,some of these will continue to haunt you.Same phenomenon is happening with me.I did nothing wrong ,but i feel that i am still being punished for the marvellous job done by our team.

At this point ,I want to confess that this job was not due to me.In fact if I hadn't so many well wishers ,friends and seniors that piece of job might have turned into a disaster.but I fully give credit to some of my best friends for this job. They had deep affection for me and they were not able to see me going through so much stress and helped me with full honesty and vigour,without questioning over my any unusual request for timing,day or night .without their cooperation It would have been a complete failure.I thank them from my heart.
But I am about to get the same responsibility again.How will I manage this time,I don't know.I will miss them.
.
.
.
.
.
If it get into my nerves, I have decided that I will hand over my resignation letter to the Hospital Superintendent the very next day.....
Wish me luck

Last couple of days were quite busy for our whole institute.We were celbrating the First b'day of our institute in More than 33 years.So the programme was ought to be awesome.So we devoted ourselves in that.The Over all programme was a success.Me and 3 of my besties decided to put up show on the eve of College Foundation Day.Actually the Idea was given by my sis..who is also my bestie...And we tried a lot to make the show a huge success.With limited access to the infrastructure and communication and sound system.We proceeded with ourselves and just moving the hurdles coming in our way and finally we created A musical game show for the Eve.The Professors were the participants.And ultimately the show went beyond the horizon of our expectations.And every body had a praise for our effortsand some of them even compared the show with a popular TV show. my best friends were so awesome in their anchoring and hosting of the show.....
.
.
.I loved that show too much.And all of us wished to be one of the participants.
Next two days went almost without sleep and we had to attend the marathon lecture of Microbiology.So we were quite tired from these extra enthusiastic work of us.All ended very well and now from monday we are getting to our normal life

Today, we were walking to our usual place for having our usual dose of snacks and tea ,to our one and the only favourite MCD. While on the way ,we[Me and my friend} saw a person standing looking at each passerby with hopeful eyes bright eyes.His face though appeared dark,may be due to the darkness or complexion. He appeared about in early thirty's with his family probably standing at the road side.He had a wife with two kids,one of them was about 4 yrs and the other was at the breast.His face, though dark but those lines of worry were clearly visible.The shine of hope was increasing with each passerby coming towards him but soon it flickered and died when they just gave a cold look and went away.The agony was clearly visible on his family but he was not saying anything to any body.Just stood there with an effort to keep the rays of hope alive.And those passerby just out of fascination and curiousity went towards them but none tried to ask anything from them.May be just by their appearance ,the onlookers were attracted.The phenomena was repeating many times and we could not stop ourselves so we advanced there towards the family ,fascinated by the Doppler phenomenon of hope in the eyes of the man.We went there and enquired about him.We found that he was a victim of cheating while travelling in the train.He was originally from Pune,Maharashtra.The associate with whom he was travelling just disappeared with all of his cash and baggage.Our mind was now seeing the whole plot of the story.He was a bussinessman and was coming with his trusted friend who worked with him.He had never imagined that he would ever fall into such devastating situation like this and his own close associate will dump him like this after looting him.The story was having full impact on our mind.We were moved and our heart melted by the plight of those two little kids.They had nothing for the past 24 hrs.We then decide to give them some money and a cellphone to make a call.But taking some lessons from the daily news papers I dropped the idea of giving my cellphone.Then we suggested him to make a call but he said he had her old mother at home and he did't want to give this news to her.Then We gave him some more money and started walking back to our destination.After walking few meters our mind came suddenly out of the sympathy well where it was drowning a few minutes back.It suddenly gave us the feeling that we ourselves are now the victim of fraud.It was because of the events that are happening these days the stories similar to that.But our other part of mind suddenly kicked us and said "stop being the Jerk.What if he is in real need.even if he is not,what will you lose??/just those few hundreds.Just think what he will gain.Those little kids will eat some thing.Their mother can sleep in peace for tonight ,at least.The money will give satisfaction to the father of two for not letting their children sleeping hungry.The money will help him to get back his dear ones.It will help a mother to get her son back.More over,This money will help him to have faith on Humanity and it will tell him that every person at this place is not a thug."...with these thoughts going in the brain we got back to our hostel.

this is not a single story.Thousands of such incidents happen in our country.This family was lucky they weren't poisoned on the way.But all the victims aren't so lucky.They just fall prey to these thugs.
The fraudulent ways of making money is increasing too.So the common people hesitate to help the victims.The humanity is just fading away.
I just want to tell those scumbags ,excess of every thing is evil.Don't overdo such things so that the humanity die inside human beings a cruel death.
Don't kill it..................................................

The days are pretty hectic now....the studies and the hospital work both.I feel i am draining out of enthusiasm.....and of course there is no intravenous product to compensate that.....anyway i think i have to wake up the sincerity inside me.
.
.
.
.
But still enjoying the sports fest...i won the table tennis championship today few hrs back and went to MCD to have acup of hot tea in celebration.HEy yeeeeeeeee

Well...today was a wonderful day for me.Actually..The OPD closed early because no patient were pending and I got the time to straighten my aching backs due to continuous sitting of 4 hrs.At times it appears even sitting is a tough job specially when you have to tackle a large number of patients.
Well after straightening my back, i came out of the chamber,leaned out side to see if any body was waiting for his turn.Finding nobody ,I hurried to exit out of the hospital premises to catch up for the Final match of the S.B. memorial Cricket Tournament.Where we were against the Final Yr students.i.e JUNIOR DOCTORS VS Final yr.
It was an awesome match.Me and my friend Dr Rohit had started the innings and Scored 91 runs together without loss of any wicket.Well our final score was 150 runs in 20 overs.With the fall of early wickets the opposite team could score only 89 runs together.
I was lucky to get the Man of The Match trophy for my 38 run innings and 3 wickets in 4 overs.
very happy rt now...
.
.
.
.
.But from tommorrow ,we got a very hectic schedule.....God help me............

lost the final match to the fighters despite playing well.............phewwww.Its all right some times you don't deserve to win.

Better luck next time.....for me.:(.......

sometimes a condition comes when you have to get out of a situtation but can't help it.Then what you do usually - you get a strong feeling to storm out of that session.
or you can make some silly excuses....some important work, some important call..........or more silly to attend the most important call.....this time from the nature...he he

i got in the simil;ar situation today.i had an imporant cricket match today with my highfliers team Vs the Rangers.being the captain of my team i had to reach there ASAP.But i got stuck in the samosaas and the Gulabjamuns sponsored by our HOD of the OBG dept.SO i had to watch my cellphone every few minutes for any missed calls from the teammates and smile on the words spoken by our HOD and talk about every topic she discussed.As soon as the items arrived i gobbled as fast as possible and got out of there,hopped on the bike and zooomed towards the playground.Well i reached on time.Our team played very well and we won the match.

got an awesome achievement too.I bowled out a batsman in one of my overs and the stumps broke from the middle due to the pace of my bowling.I was surprised . I didn't expect myself to do that.And I now think that May be the stumps were weak.Any way that loss was done due to me.
It doesn't matter to me at least i don;t have to find the third matching stump for the next match.HE He HE....

That feeling is nice when you have nothing to do on a sunday specially when sundays are not meant for you.BTW i have this feeling since this morning and i enjoyed this fully particularly after last night dinner in a restaurant.NO duty, no screaming ,no crowd and no confusions in the many Sita devi in the ward.HE he he
The happiness increases dramatically when you know that for you monday too is sunday.............yeeeeeeeeyeeeeeeeee.Well preparing for my immediate next sunday tomorrow...............""""thana me baithe on duty......he he he

In last three days saved two newborns from dying.But my mind was not sure whether i was saving their lives or making their whole life miserable ,i don't know.I was taking care that the babies don't develop cyanosis because the deficiency of oxygen to brain may permanently make them handicap.The babies are now safe but i am not sure about their outcome,whether they will lead a normal life or will be handicapped for their whole life.Some times Doctors face this dillema - are we responsible for the death or the handicapped life we are giving at the cost of death at the first time.......


heard the sad news of the brave soul's demise...may she rest in peace.God bless the Humanity

Today I got a bad news from the Unit Chief.Last few days of the year is going to be pretty hectic for us....[unit 2]of OBG.i.e. There are no holidays on Sundays ,Christmas and even on the new year.sometimes i wonder whether the destiny has decided for me to always be in the"DO numbari Unit".Always and always and the fact is that this"Do numbari Units are the most busiest departments of the hospital contrary to the common perception.well,time will tell me how i am going to cope with this.........God Help Us....the Current "do numbariiiss"

Dear Diary, I want to share a wicked plan which i had to plan to get holidays at the time of deepawali with my friends in the month of november.

Well life was pretty hectic in those days.and every one was leaving for home to enjoy the holidays and we stood just dreaming about the fun of going home and spending the holidays.
Then one day ,my friend suggested a plan to get the necessary holidays without which we were going to be just like the withered flower without water.So great was our luck that AIIMS -PG exam was going to be held on the same month on 17th or 18th{i don't remember the exact date}.The greatest challenge was who will be ready to tie the bell round the cats neck{inform our HOD}.That responsibility fell upon the shoulders of my friend Bala....That was too without planning.And you know ..to speak lies without planning can be a suicide.He suddenly spoke to the HOD for granting leave to attend the exam at Delhi.The very next Question he asked was....."by which train?".my friend stammered a bit then he quickly got his senses back and wove a nice story around that.Good luck was that he had a good idea about the trains leaving for Delhi.Well his enquiry didn't stop there.His enquiry begin at the start of journey and ended up at the questions that were asked in the examinations.Of course we were not taking the exam but this time we were fully prepared for that and some how got a few questions implanted in our brains in case anybody asked about them.....................I appreciate my friends awesome quality of getting us out in adverse situations

Went to a friend's wedding yesterday and enjoyed it fully,and now having a good deal body ache due to long journey and partly due to the "Dance" session.In fact we had to drive about 410 kms taking about 7 hours to reach the place which was just 225 kms away.Our fault "too much dependence on technology"..THE GPS.........he he he.While returning we ,relied on first hand information based on experience of the others,still took 11 hrs.......ha ha ha,but of course the distance was less.Right now, back at my place,feeling too much tired.

well........i was unable to write for some time because of the festivals and the hectic schedule at that time.I know my diary was missing me.But you know some time of distance creates more strong bonds.........New posting in OBG is in the way between me and ny beloved diary but still i think no force can seperate me from my beloved.............kuchh jada hi nautanki ho gayi na......he he.

Finally after five days of famine in my college ,glory has arrived .I mean to say that my tummy is satisfied which was going dissapointed every day for the past five days.Today our cook Mr Ranjeet made a grand appearance and provided my tummy a chance to have a beautiful gift of "CHHOLE BHATURE".But i must tell you not before taking an advance cash from us the night before as a ransom for the deal.Now my tummy is happy for it will be able to enjoy .............................aahhhuuuuuuupppmmmmmm

Just hate to work on festivals when all others are enjoying the festive mood.That too when one of your colleague went to home for leave.just too bad to do an extra share of work during this time when you are hungry from the morning and come to know that you'll not be able to have lunch because Mess is off from today onwards.Completely irritated by these just trying to relax by having a bowl of Maggi....and loving it ......

Friends as the time of festivals are arriving i am being impatient to go to home.I feel it is quite a long time since i had enjoyed these times at my home.The next moment i feel that this period when i enjoy with friends is the best ever i can get in my life whether i live any where.i am sure i'm going to miss these days.

Rest is as usual.......in my case more than usual.tomorrow is going to be long day for me.Total of eleven surgeries going to take place and being the most junior member we[me and my colleague] have to be there till the last one.,even if we both[us and the surgeons] know we won't be of much help to the surgeons.But still as i earlier had said that it is our destiny....he he.wish you all the Happy holidays of Navratra and Vijay Dashmi.