akashganga's Diary

Dear diary,
dese days i m really tensed.. dnt knw why... but bahot ajeeb react kar rhi hu... jin chijo se pehle mjhe prblm ni hoti thi aaj vo hi baatien ajeeb lagti h... itni unstability kyun a gyi h life me patani... D pehle bhi mjhe nhi batata tha usey kuch kaam hota tha to like vo apni professional life alag rakhta h... usey un baaton ko discuss krna acha ni lgta but ajkal mjhe us baat se irritation hone lagi h... it seems saare boys aise hi react karte h.. ya me over react kar rhi hu...
i m sry motu mene tjhse bhi jhuth bola but mjhe acha ni lag rha tha ki meri wajah se tu mve njy ni kar pata... dear is situation se tu hi mjhe nikal skta h...
me sayad D ko nhi smjh pa rhi ab... but har time vo hi sb batien sunkar ajeeb lagne lagta h jaise i m an useless person...bahot kuch h iss dil me jo likhna h but aaj sach me smjh ni a rha kya likhu ya kya nhi...
i really missed u motu and D... motu jldi pahuch bahot saari batien krni h nd bahot saare solution bhi chahiye mjhe... nd iss baar khi bahar milenge ghar me saari batien ni ho pati...

Dear Diary,
Its long time i had not written something.... Past few days meri life is on rollercoaster of joy n sorrow....
My lovely bro Baba is born on 26th march..... V njyd a lot dat day but khi na khi ajeeb si khamoshi thi.... Kuch ankahi si baatien jo hum smjhte to h but keh nhi skte... Pls god usey duniya ki saari khushiyaan de do.... Nd us paagal ko ye bhi samjhana me khi ni ja rhi usey chod k.... Usey jitni jarurat meri h usse jyada jarurat uski mjhe h... Vo to smjhdar h but mera kua hoga uske bina.... Motu me tjhe abhi to koi gift ni de payi but jldi hi me chahti hu mene jo maanga h vo pura ho jaye.... I dont believe in any materialistic assets becoz dy dont last forever... Dear b happy mere chehre pe bhi tbhi smile ati h.... Kal Baba ne mjhe dara diya dat he is gng somewhere i cried a lot becoz he is precious for me... Dn he open d suspense dat he is gng to delhi for some interview.... Its to happiest part of my life....
Now d sadest part me nd D fighting each nd every day for silly reasons i dnt knw whts d cause sayad d long distance relationship its really a soothing feeling to see each other in front each nd every day nd v r missing dis... Me heading to dun today rite now in bus but dere is no excitement in gng dere.... My life is a mystrey new day new prblms nd new happiest moment.... But me tryng to cope up wid dis all.... Luv u my sweetest diary....

Dear Diary,
Me in a beautiful dun valley... But i m not happy as dere is a 2nd day in dun nd i m not able to met D yet... :'(:'( But i m happy for my masi as they hav constructed a new home... :-):-)My cousion r really happy as dy got dere seperate rooms, new cuboards... Really dese days r awesome dat v find hapiness in small nd materialistic things... Past three days i m really tired as there is no time for rest... But i m enjoying dis as my cousions, masi nd mausaji r really happy... They r my second family past 5 years during my collge days i wont feel homesickness as they r always dere 4 me... From d starting of march masi is calling me to dun as any function is incomplete without my presence....
Nd Baba is so stupid kbhi ni manta meri baat kitni baar bola mat ghuma kar puri city me but sunta ni... I cant see u ill dear so pls tk cre... Nd dere is a new twist in my story i thnk 1of my school frnd likes me nd i told him dat i like someone else but still his msgs shows he had a feeling 4 me.... Abhi to i m jus ignoring him.... Otherwise life is gng gud really waiting for a gud job....
Aaj i go through somelines
" bas thodi dur aur hi toh hai mein yhi soch kar aage badta hu, girta hu, smbhlta hu, mein phir se chalta hu...
Aajkal khi na khi meri life aisi hi chal rhi h...
Kuch dhundle raaston pe, mein manjil dhundta hu.
Dekh kar lakho ki bheed ko, mein dagmaga jata hu.
Par bas ek khud se hi jeetna hai mein yhi soch kar ladta hu.....

Dear diary,
New day, new hope, aaj bahot din badh mrng me headache ni ho rha tha... A lil happy today... Laga ab headache bhaag jayega but ab phir se ho rha h... Baba k per me bahot dard h vo ldka bilkul dhyan ni rakhta... Me kal mili thi usse... Me baba girish nd aunty were together had a great time... Mast tea banai thi baba ne pyaar se bhari hui nd i really like dat... Kal to time kaise bita pata hi ni chala... Tomorrow i m gng to dun but sayad iss bar D se jyada milne ka time na ho... Mausi k ghar me bahot kaam h... But i m happy ki atleast milungi to shi... Nd i miss u my diary nd a real cause is baba he regularly update dat he nd my diary missing my presence... Nd i like to thank the owner of writer babu... Dy gave us a great place to write our feelings.... Pls god take care of all... Nd me baba nd girish r fighting fir d same cause i.e. Job so pls god fullfill d dreams of all d pure hearts...

Dear Diary,
Day started with a severe headache... But ab to adat ho chuki h... I dnt knw wht is wrong with me... Little worried... But dats my life nd i want to live it with smile on my face... Finally today i went to emloyement exchange office... Nd i hav a trust on my government dat dy can't do anythng but i had to go for my mother's sake... So i hav to find out my path on my own... Really tryng hard to find out...
But today i m relaxed i had loving family, frnds nd my luv of life... God pls tk cre of dm nd keep dm happy always......

Dear Diary,
Today i m really happy becoz i was out wid my lovely bro Baba... Nd sad also becoz today i saw a real face of my life... I had a dream dat i got married to D but today i saw d worst face of dat dream... Aaj shaam ko D se bhi baat hui ajeeb si situation thi me thoda sa naraj thi ki vo 2 din se patani kaha h nd dn jb mera gussa thk hua to vo gussa ho gya ki me apni tbiyat ka dhyan ni rkhti... Mjhe hi pata h me kitna pareshan hu apne headache se... But kisi ko kuch smjha ni skti... D ki tnsn bhi smjhti hu but kya karu... Family ne sari kosis kar li medicines, superstitious things but kuch thk ni ho rha.... Nyways its my life full of trouble....
But today i really njyd a hot choclate pastry nd chilled cold coffee... Really njyd a lot nd baba ko thoda sa frustrate bhi kiya as v go to vishal without any reason v r roaming here n dere.... Bahot time k badh inni khush thi but ab bahot jyada headache ho rha h.... Kbhi kbhi sochti hu ab to ye day to day life ka hissa h ab headache ni hota to tnsd ho jati hu.... Thnx baba for such a wonderful day...

Dear diary,
Bahot dino se kuch nhi likha aaj phir kuch likhne ka mann hua.... Bahot pareshaan ho gyi hu life is gng in a wrong track... Kya socha tha mene apni life ko kya ho gyi... I was always thnk ki jaise me chahti hu vaise meri life hogi but life is unpredictable... Can't find any path... It is a pathetic feeling really worried for my job... Else is gud yesterday me , BABA nd shilpi was together had a gud time... Sach me dost h to jindgi h.... Aaj ka din bhi theek tha... I was really trying hard to get a gud job in my field... Pls bhagwan make it possible... Saare log jo paresan h unki sb prblm theek kar do.... Nd pls praveen ka bhi dhyaan rakhna usey sayad hi mere alawa koi smjh paya h... Pls vo jo chahta h life me usey de do... Thnku for being wid me baba, praveen nd D at every moment whn i need u.... Luv u my diary....

Dear Diary,
Another day is passed... Awesome weather.... I luv the rainy weather whn i can feel d rain drops falling on my face its like d awesome feeling on earth.... Rain is best in two manner first it fills my heart with joy and hapiness and 2nd is i can hide my tears in rain drops.... Sometimes whn i m sad nd want to cry loud i wish rain to come.... Today i m really happy "mausam ye awesome bada".... Dis little small rain drop fill my life with joy nd hapiness which i m missing from some days... Thankyou god.... I hope my loved ones r also happy especially Baba nd D..... Luv u both..... Tk cre.... Guddy nite....

Dear Diary,
Yesterday is a valentine day or prem chaturdasi (baba call v day by dis name) it passes out as a normal day i wish few of my frnds nd my luv of life.... Nd miss dat v cant meet up... Its a strange feeling sometimes d distance make life really tuff... But i m happy by knowing dis i m really imp to sme people's... Baba i luv u bro....
Today is another normal day but 1 thng is imp v celebrate dis day as d welcomt of spring season nd sry baba i cant cme to ur home... Actually dnt knw d custom of dis festival... Sry 4 dat but i promise i will take care of it in future.... My life was in a gud track dnt knw its gng in a rite direction or not but i m really happy with my frnds, family nd D....
Pls god take care of all the peoples.....

Dear Diary,
Sry bahot dino se kuch nhi likha, i was gone in a different phase jaha i found my life in a mid of a sea jaha se kuch nhi dikhta... Bs aap akele hote h... But now all is well... I found dat d life is like a river it jus flow without waiting for anyone... Today's day is really gud... Aaj motu aya tha dinner pe mast time spend kiya... Thanx 4 cmng motu... Bas ab motu ki life bhi thik ho jaye vo bhi paresan rehta h.... Pls god take care of d peoples who are related to my life... Thnx for giving me dis life....
Nd 1 more thing as dis is d week of luv so i m missing my luv of life... I dnt thnk dat d only day is whn v shud celebrate our luv its imp dat each nd evry day is ment for luv nd v hav to make each n evryday for ourloved ones... But happy valentines day in advance..... Luv u my diary , my family, nd mtu nd last but not d least D.... U all r really imp 4 me....

Dear Diary,
Its about 72 hrs since i had a bad headache... Nd can't do anything d nly solution is dat to take dose hard med which make me feel more weaker.. Now i wont tell my family members as dy got worried... Its all for today as i can't open my eyes in light... It worsens d conditions.... Gudnite dear diary... Luv u for keeping my secrets deep in ur heart...

Dear Diary,
today i m missing my college days.. the fights over food, bunking clsses, term work, punishment assignments, submission of projects on last day, nd shouting "arey yaar please diagram complete kar de"...
as i m a student belong to science stream... our lifes move around 2D nd 3D structures... v hav a group of 13 people's nd dere is only 1 guy in our group v call him "chujja" as i knw him for last 6 years nd he is a bf of my frnd... i dnt knw how days passed nd v have completed our post graduation a year ago... suddenly i realize school nd college time r d golden days of life...
school days r also awesome.. v dnt hav to think nd no tnsn of life... but d tnsn is "yaar inna sara homework de diya ab khelne ka time ni milega"... i got some of my school frnds after i hav completed my school but can't deny d fact dat dy r really true frnds... luv u 3p's, 1baba nd 1g in my life... u all r dearer to me....
i m a little girl (as i wont look according to my age), generally people ask me in which class do u study,, but the fact is dat i hav completed my pg also.. frnds call me "chotu", "chutki" nd many other names, dese names r my favourite...
my frnds (pg frnds) call me bubbly girl as i m always busy in some saitani... miss u dear frnds....
i always remember the tag line v use to say "study hard nd party harder".. study hard to dnt knw but v surely follow d party harder line...
watching d pics, night outs in our hostel... how v tresspass from our rooms to reach d terrace nd dere our party began.... d yummy choclate cake, maggie parties nd fight over d last spoon of maggie, our fav "black coffee" which do not contain any amt of sugar or little amount of sugar, nd d funny faces on d 1st sip of dat coffee... nd thnx for making my room "dharamshala" every saturday nite six people in 1 room.. late nite movie nd craze of watching 5 movies at one nite....
nd how i forgot to mention our to lovely frnds who make us feel like home... as v move every week to dere home or pg to get rid of our home sickness nd u make delicious food for us...
love u guyz.....
really i miss dose mcd nd domino's parties.. nd u my chini or i say japaneese frnd i miss gng kfc with u....
LOVE YOU for making my life so good nd memorable... i was really happy to hav frnds like you....

Dear Diary,
normal day started.. In morning i was busy with tutions... so dnt hav time to thnk about me nd my life.... yesterday was gud but missing smethng in my life.... hav to achieve many thngs but can't get the right path... today i m happy... weather is quite gud wanna hang out with my frnds..... lets hope for a better eve... 3 3

Dear Diary,
feeling low today, dnt knw why, its all ajeeb..... i was all alone b/w 100 people's. i was frustrated, depressed and most of all i dnt knw d reason why... yesterday i was happy to b with my frnds nd i realize nothing is gud without dm.... I talk to D but dnt knw i dnt get dat connection v share earlier.... smethng is changed which is related to me nd my life but dnt knw dat thing... really messed up.... dnt knw where to go... i wanna cry till my last tear got dry....:( i want to scream harder nd harder but cant do dat.... but 1 thng i wanna admit i got really gud frnds who care nd treat me like i was a 1 day born baby... nd it really makes me happy.... but i cant admit it upfront...

Dear Diary,
nthng is left 4 writing... these days i had a mixed feelings... mixed emotions of hapiness and sadness... the time i was with my frnds, family and people's around me till than i was happy... as i dnt hav time to thnk how miserable my life is... but d time i was alone d emotions of sadness nd grief surrounds me.... "Baba u r rite v hav to live for our parents nd for our sibblings"...

Dear Diary,
i hav to choose my family..... whtever b the situation. i had taken my decision v broke up dis evening as v both dnt wanna hurt our families.... i m all alone now becoz cant tell my prblms to anyone.... my frnds r always dere to hold me but dnt wanna tell becoz i want to tackle dis alone.. today i m feeling like 1 part of my body is difunction dat is heart... Now it is only a blood pumping machine, the emotion called love is no more in my heart.... As he gave me his swear i hav to live dis miserable life..

Every mrng i woke up with a fear ki i will loose smethng.... I dnt why dis feeling irritates me.... But now its a high time to loose one of my dear ones few days before i was a happiest girl on earth hav family nd frnds which can do anything for my smile especially "two baba's of my life"... But now the situation is i hav to choose b/w my family nd my luv.... Dnt know wht to do??

I really don't know how to compile my feelings in a form of story as i m not a story writer..... but still i m writing.. I m really happy for past 10 months as i m deeply and madly in love with a guy who come into my life an year ago. V met in a cyber cafe accidently as i went their to met my frnds for completing 1 of our projects... dat day v dont had a word with each other as our common frnds is a dumbo who wont itroduce us to each other... v jus saw each other an i went to my hostel.... but smethng is planned for us v talk to each other for three days in messaging its a normal chat nd dat time i dnt knw ki dis is a guy who will become a imp part of my life after sometime and dn sme misunderstanding occurs an i deleted his number and after dat v wont talk for a year... but suddenly one day i message him in facebook dat pls forgive me as i was the reason for the problems which he face... as our commomn friends say lot of things which is not rite... but after dat v chat from 10pm to 7am in d morning and one day i realise i m in luv... but he wont say a word dat he luv me too as he is afraid dat he will loose me again... but one day at 2pm in the morning v were talking on d phone suddenly he said "i m in luv with ur eyes, ur hairs, ur charming smile, and ur childish behaviour, all d things u say, in short I LOVE U"... those days are like a fairy tale or like everything is planned... each and every moment v spend together is rememborable.... as time passsed v know each other, wht v like or dislike everything is going gud. v r really happy but as in India every second girl face a problem, their parents not allow them to marry a guy of different community but i still think dat i can manage to ready my parents for dis marriage... i told my mom, elder bro nd my aunty as i know dy would surely help me.... but i m wrong dy wont help me out as dere is some problem "the guy i luv had a past, she luv a girl who ditched him for some silly reasons.. he is really depressed for 3 years before v met..." my mom nd my bro know dis and dy r really worried for me and dn dy wont allow me to talk to dat guy which i luv d most in dis earth... i cant imagine my life without him.... i don't know wht 2 do.. as at one place my family is dere and on other side d guy i love...