It was 3:00 am.The late night love segments on the radio came to a close.Some cried and others confessed while few dedicated some hardcore romantic songs to someone they loved with all their heart and soul.
Terrace never seemed so heart soothing.The skyscrapers of the city resembled many smaller blocks of luminous pearls.The night was budding and the stars were bright.The lonesome trees stood sumptuously tall across the deserted roads.The stream of breezes,further eased my mind from the restlessness of naked emotions,the night was bringing along.
I rubbed my eyes for the third time.There was a burning sensation.Maybe,my eyes were loosing battle to excruciating emotions or maybe I was a bit too exhausted.The cell phone remained put aside,dark and dead.The bright lights at the surroundings went off.My presence was now physically engulfed into darkness,combating emotional abjection even more closely.It was this moment when painful flashbacks of evening started invading more profoundly,than ever.
The cell phone sprang back to life.The incoming call flashed with her name and picture.It made me weak.This version of me was inferior,sentimental,lonely,submissive and shy to the extreme.But I liked it that way.What I liked better was that I didn't have to hide it from her ever.It was easy.Yet,I was never ashamed to show her the weaker side of me.I wondered why!The heart and mind were again at war.A situation,I had been battling since more than a year.Painfully, mind had its first 'say' this time.The heart was flatly overlooked and the call was rejected! I put my phone back to the place.
I drifted back to my thoughts.Cursing myself for everything I behaved like,ignorant of the tricks and techniques prevailing.Regretting not to have ever even tried playing any one of them.Not knowing that only 'unfair' is fair in war and more specifically in love.But who cares! Mind plays and Heart pay! I was paying big time perhaps because my mind failed to be a good player.
Confronted by my own emotions,It was not just a night.It was a mirror of past actions and a map for future preferences.Life,sometimes,teaches you in a moment and you understand the lesson in a flash.Tears rolled on every single thought,thereafter!Perhaps,aware of the changes coming along in the future.
I woke up to the faint glow of morning sky that filled the same terrace, purging it from darkness and all that belonged to the night.My cell phone showed '9 Missed Calls'.
A new day! Time to move on!
rahul verma
